Difference between revisions of "Talk:Atlantis"

Revision as of 17:44, 1 February 2008

\(b)hi -scene inside the research facility where raptors attack tom and all that -battle scene in book 1 -book 3 cover with tom, matt, scarlett and holly -assault heliplane -when tom uses telekenesis somewhere -scenes near mt. tyrannosaurus in book 3 and near the lake with kracken and air craft carrier and all -book 3 final battle scene -rooftop overlooking the courtyard of facility 1 (when Tom's sniping) (We can talk about this l8r, DONT draw it yet -Mt. Tyrannosaurus -Drawing of basic layout of a facility (1, 2, or 3) (again, we can go over this l8r.)

(w) i updated the OMG scene, it's sooooooooooo much better u should be happy im ur partner otherwise that scene would be totally crappy  :-o

Like my oo face that says oooo?

for some reason the best time that the story was completely totally exciting was when i had u over and like, for the first time we didn't like videogames and we talked about how awesome the story was gonna be in the tree fort and discussed who should have what weapons and names and everything and personal stuff and then i gave u that ghost recon game... i wish our sleepovers were still that fun. come to my house next weekend

(w) also- i just got this great idea for an action scene in book 2 in the U.S. it just popped into my head and so i wrote it down on a piece of paper. rather than ur action scenes that combine like everything, i just built up suspense. it is by far the best action scene i have ever written. wat happens before the action scene: police, like, do something or other that uses their awesome cars an d guns and all that , and they get in their cars (this is all wat happened before i started writing so i haven't figured this out yet). anyway, wat happens in the excerpt i wrote is that their cars get blown up by Stinger missiles, and tom instinctively ducks for cover. then he sprints to his car the aston martin and drops like a gun or something and the iraquis charge (they are the ones with the stinger missiles and machine guns). tom sprays oil slick at them and makes a joke as he does it, and they all blow up. it says their screams of agony were muffled by the roar of tom's car starting or something. Tom speeds away, but knows that he wont be safe for long. then he sees like 6 humvees in his rear view. it is 10 times cooler than that in the thing i wrote, but i didn't bother copying it for you onto this website (if u want me to, just so u can check it out, i can). by the way, i got mozilla firefox on my computer!

ok here's my excerpt:

Suddenly there was an explosion that rung through Tom's ears, and the police cars' flaming fragments were rolling side over side. Tom instinctively ducked for cover. He was crouching beside a beaten up green Honda Accord, and knew his only chance was to get to his car without being seen. He heard heavy footsteps approaching and what sounded like ammo clanking around, but couldn't tell whether it was coming from the left or the right. He made a guess. His car was straight ahead of him. If he could just make a quick dash... Everything seemed to flash before his eyes; the blur of the various cars seemed to come at him faster than thought. Something dropped with a metallic thud to the ground. Tom could hear confused shouts echoing behind him. A barbaric war cry rang out over the parking lot and Tom ignored it, sprinting on. All he could think about was getting to his car. Bullets ricocheted off of his car due to the reinforced steel and bulletproof windows. 5 more yards to go. 4. 3. 2. 1. Tom leaped into the silver Aston Martin DBs with relief. Most people would say that Tom was in an impossible situation. About 20 Iraqis trailed him, 6 with Stinger missiles. Tom saw it through attentive eyes. The Iraqis hesitated, then slowly raised their missile launchers. As they started to load the explosive warheads, Tom made his move. "I wonder what these Iraqis enjoy on their bread more: olive oil or butter? Hmmmm, let's think about that. Olive oil it is then," Tom thought. He sprayed about 12 of the Iraqis with oil slick. "Happy birthday!" he yelled out the window and chucked a match onto one of the Iraqis. It was a chain reaction. The Iraqis' high-pitched screams of agony were muffled as Tom's engine roared to life. He sped forward, turning and skidding at the last second, coming around 180 with the hood of the car facing the remaining cowering Iraqis. Pressing a concealed button, two secret panels slid aside, revealing two menacing chain guns. Tom opened fire. The chain guns roared as they spat out .35 cal bullets at the helpless Iraqi soldiers. The results were predictable. Swerving again, he changed direction, speeding through a side road as he felt the sheer power of his 705 horsepower V12 engine encased in the car. Tom knew that it wouldn't be long before he "served his next customer". He was right. About 1200 yards away, 6 Humvees menacingly engaged pursuit.

(Brandon) Danng, thats awesome. I have so many things to tell u but I don't want to type any of them because they will sound really sissy or something. Anyways, first off, that sucks that stephen baled out on u. He's such a noob sometimes. Two, he is DEFINATELY NOT the most popular kid at trinity. I would actually say he's down there below Linzy and Brandon C. and Ta-neal. He's like the least popular. Maybe he said the most poopular. not popular. Anyways, that action scene is the best, I can alter it a little if u want, and extend it. That is by far the best u have ever written. Srry on the re uniting thing, but i just suck at that, and I can't help that. I wouldn't have been able to come over to ur house on the 13 or 14 anyways, because I was camping. More details on that later. I've updated ur list of things to draw. How about for the Tom using telekenesis thing, we can draw him catching the knife that the Atlantian officer throws at Luke right after the katana duel that Tom and the Officer have. For ur action scene, it never actually explains why the Iraqis are on fire. It just says they got sprayed with oil slick. U need to have something, like maybe Tom shoots something at their feet and the spark causes it to blow up.

(b) hey will

(w) hey

(b) umm... have u read my post?

(w) not yet

(b) read it and while u do i'll be typing something

(b) Dude this really is not helpful i need to type the story. Please, can we just do this some other time on the phone?

(w) kk

(w)ok i tried to continue with the debriefing, but i really realized that i had no idea where the story was going, plus, even if i had come up with a great idea for the debriefing scene, u would have probably corrected it a ton like u did with my feeble attempt at a start for the second book. anyway, i am not in a writing mode right now. ill wait till i am so that i don't screw up the story. plus, what are these boring scenes gonna be like? it cant all just be catching up on stuff. There's gotta be some way that we can incorporate semi- action into this without it all just being, like, super-dee-duper action. like when tom visits the guru and all that where he's not just cooped up in the research facilities drinking coke and watching TV and stuff. but then again, it's not like tom can just go roam around atlantis whenever he pleases. he has to have ORDERS! but we really need to find a way to have "boring story" that i like to call "plot", that is not just hanging out in the research facilities. remember, we can spend a lot of time on this because it is much easier to write action scenes than to write boring scenes that long. (Brandon) I agree... the plot needs to have some action incorporated in it, but not so much that the reader never gets a break from the fast-paced constant adrenaline of an action scene. It needs to be sorda like the boring scenes in Eldest or Eragon. Christopher Paolini does a great job with action and plot alike, but he really shines with his plot. Notice, he has like only one or two HUGE action scenes, then he has a lot of AMAZING plot. that way, we get an actual story that we want to keep reading, but we don't put the book down to give ourselves an 'artificial' adrenaline break. Another thing in the plot scenes that we could have is romance. romance and drama can sometimes take the place of semi-action. As for orders, the gang will get a lot of orders once they have a dinner scene. The next morning, they'll have to deal with first this, then that, then this, etc. The gang will also have training. Tom will, of course, outshine all the others, but the others will also outshine the other students by far. Matt, Holly, and Scarlett need to totally pwn, but they need to on a lower level than Tom and a much, much, much higher level than everyone else.

(w) yep, thank u for answering my question, but let's have a discussion about what the story is gonna be like. i mean, like what is gonna happen with matt and scarlett's relationship? are they gonna break up and have a ton of sadness and all, cuz, frankly, every book needs sadness/drama. will tom be holly's boyfriend, or would that be too cheesy? will tom and matt stop being friends because matt is scarlett's boyfriend and spends all his time with her? this is wat im talking about. im gonna call u.

anyway, summary of our phone discussion:

1. highway stations- mini bunkers on the side of the highway, disguised as tiny hills conceal unmanned mini helicopters, probe droids, mine detector-and-destroyer mini tanks, and all of these are controlled by laptops. there is a communications array on each one so that they can be cleared to shoot the crap out of enemy vehicles. there are upgraded police cars and policemen and a stinger missile/ chain gun turret. 2. police gauntlet- includes switchblade mechanized knife thingie that pops out, laser, small chainsaw (jango fett), grappling hook, mechanized, about as thin as a rubber band, and holographic popup computer with mini cell phone keyboard, webcam, and usb port. 3. police belt- includes grenades, detpacks, poison pills, med pack, ammo, and gun holsters. 4. police guns- MP5k, Sig Sauer P22, Nightstick/billy club 5. police cars- chevy camaro w/ .30 cal machine gun, side grill-mounted Stinger missiles, oil slick, spike tread deployment system, smoke screen, gps, in-car computer and surveillance systems.

let me know if i missed anything (highly unlikely) :-)

(Brandon) Awesome! I've been meaning to write all that stuff down for some time now, but i just kept putting it off. Ok. so, heres the jist of wat u missed: nothing! Here's my suggestion: on the highway thing, we really shouldn't have a horde of UAVs every five miles on either side of the road. We can have those on the border bunkers (like the name?) instead of the highway bunkers. I think the highway bunkers vehicle armament should include: 1 predator drone, two Police Motorbikes (I'll discuss those with you this weekend or over the phone), and maybe one police car. We don't need it to be a mega-mini base thing that is equipped to take on the entire war by itself. However, it should have a four man team inside a mini-hill thing on the side of the highway, and the only thing that makes it visible is the narrow viewing slit of open space about one half foot wide/tall that runs the length of the bunker and has a .50 cal machine gun barrel jutting out from it. The bunker could have multiple rooms, like one room at the front that houses the .50 cal, one in the back that houses the comm. array (including one man with a laptop/tablet that can control the Predator drone), and an extra room for sleeping, eating, and recreation (break time), and of course, the garage, that has the vehicles. Four men would be required to operate: one to man the machine gun, one to operate in the comm. room, and possibly two to man the vehicles. The predator drone could be used to both spot incoming hostiles and/or spy on those hostiles (even though the comms room can detect them). Not only would the predator be able to spot incoming hostiles, it could eliminate them with a nose mounted 10mm (about the size of the Glock 20's bullet, which is extremely powerful for a handgun) machine gun or its wing-mounted advanced heatseeking/radio frequency seeking missiles.

In addition to all of this, I think that we should have the bunkers every 10 miles, because every mile, or even every five miles, seems a bit eccentric.

For the border bunkers, man where do I begin? These won't be the hill-bunker things on the highway. These'll be full out bunkers, one on one side of the road, one in the center median thing dividing the highway into the two directions, and one on the other side of the rode. I'm talking 1 foot thick re-inforced concrete solid sheet metal doors, two .60 cals on the front viewing port, one .60 cal on either side, and 1 .30 cal facing the door at the back. Basically, an advanced version of the German bunkers of WWII. These things should also be relatively tall (about 20 feet or so), so that they can have a roof, which is where all of the heavy artillery is kept. Two 120mm cannons facing the front as well as a metal storm swiveling turret, S.A.M., and a .75 cal (if you can picture a machine gun firing bullets a quarter the size of a Desert Eagle round again, first; wow, and second; you've got an .75 cal) facing the back. On top of this, guys on the roof can shoot with their own small arms.

(w)............. i am speechless. wow. (just kidding i wasn't gonna give u a break from the usual revising stuff!)

ok, i have nothing to say on the border bunkers besides that there will be a communications array on top and maybe IF U WANT, a couple striker tanks.

if u don't know what a striker tank is, it is about time for you to find out. it is and awesome tank with tons of gripping tires rather than treads. it goes about three times as fast as German WWII Panzers. Here is its weapon system: on top, there is a periscope (lol, not the kind from old submarines) and a weapons bay. The "bay" (i don't know what to call it) can be fitted with a metal storm, a box-like thingie with like 25 stinger missiles, or this unmanned .50 cal chain gun turret with a videocamera on top and videogame-like controllers inside the tank to man the gun so that no one gets sniped while they're manning the turret. There is an elaborate and efficient communications system inside so that the tank commanders can communicate with other ground troops about tactics and like "Enemy spotted at _______".

i didn't say u had to have the tanks, but just a suggestion.

for the highway bunkers, this is final: they are every 20 miles: there is no debate! also, i agree with everything u said about the highway except i need to add that auto-aim cluster bomb shooter thingie. By the way, i am going to update my excerpt how we said.

(Brandon)Cool. I love the action thing that you wrote. Although, my two suggestions: Have the sentences a little longer. It makes more sense, and if you actually pay attention to them, they currently make you stop way too often in ur excerpt. So have them a little longer, and it will be fabulous. Now, my second suggestion, strangely contradicts my first. With the part where Tom is about to spray oil on the guys, one, don't have him just kill all the Iraqis with stingers. That's too convieniant that they all just stand there and wait to be killed somehow, meanwhile all the other 45 Iraqis with AK-74s (yes, the Iraqis are gonna have AK-74s, not AK-47s) are just lagging behind. Ok, also with that suggestion, don't have Tom's thought where he goes "I wonder if the Iraqis prefer their bread soaked in olive oil..." be too long, like it is currently. Bigger sentences, but not that big. Other than that, cool, and I'm gonna update the flashbacks again. :-) :-| :-( at the same time lol.

(Brandon) Kk finished with the flashbacks chapter for Tom. I still have to do Scarlett, Holly, and Matt. Go ahead and make whatever changes you want to Tom though.

Alright, heres the vehicles for the Border Bunker: Two police motorbikes, a police cruiser, and instead of striker tanks, how about a M1-Abrams? Those things pwn. I realize the striker tanks probably pwn more, but oh well. M1-Abrams are more realistic, and we don't want to completely blind our readers with future technology. Anyways, all of those vehicles and a UAV helicopter, two predator drones, and an Assault Recon motorbike.

(w)i agree with the striker tanks. nice idea with all of the vehicles! i can't wait to draw them! anyway, will the A.R.M. (assault recon motorbike) have the camo? i mean, for each border bunker the A.R.M. will probably have the camo to adapt to its environment (like, if it were on the U.S. and Mexico border, it would be desert camo, and so on and so forth). Sorry, i forgot what UAV stands for (lol) ;-). yeah i will update your flashbacks if it needs it (most likely). I will also acknowledge your suggestions for my excerpt.

(w) i just read flashbacks. great idea for the whole thing, but when are we going to include the thing about when Tom and Matt are in 5th grade and tom rages and the whole swat thing and the bully? i thought that's what you meant when you said flashbacks. Or is that when Tom and Matt go to the training camp. You really need to include the training camp scene before you get into that whole raptor attack Iraqi thing. anyway, i saw a lot of corrections that i could make, especially on commas. You have WAY too many commas in places they don't need to be. So many that it's grammatically incorrect (i know, who gives about stinking grammar, but it's necessary). The only reason i'm not completely updating it right now is because we need to talk about it. Okay, see ya later.

(w)oh, by the way how did ur soccer game go? i found all of the cheats online for bioshock! go to this web adress:

http://www.gamefaqs.com/computer/doswin/code/924919.html

(Brandon) kk sorry about the commas. The training camp scene, well, it hasn't come yet, because there is stuff we need to do first. But it is coming up soon, right after we get a good long catching up scene with the gang. They'll have dinner, talk, etc, then sleep, wake up, eat breakfast, then hop in an areal APC (i'll tell u about them later) and be taken to a phsyco kenesis training camp. What do u mean by the 'Raptor attacks Iraqi' thing? Anyways, UAV stands for unmanned something vehicle. I dont know. anyways, g2g, and ill see ya!

P.S. My soccer game went fine, thanks for the cheats!

(w) i hope u have an OK time at Jekyll! (highly unlikely, but watever). maybe UAV stands for unmanned aerial vehicle? ur welcome for the cheats and ill see u when u get back!

(w) this is wednesday. i finished a black and white atlantis map. you know on your first map that you made how it had like, Diplodicus breeding grounds and all that? well, where it said those on my map i drew those dinosaurs and i think it's looking pretty good. the only reason it's not colored and awesome by now is that i wanted to see if everything i did on the map was ok with you and if we wanted to add anything or take anything away. anyway, i can't really say much more about it- u'd have to see it.

(w) i figured out the Striker tank is actually spelled Stryker tank. anyway, so i found some cool images of the Stryker tank, the Global Hawk predator drone, V22 Osprey, dragon fire 2 mortar, USS Dwight D. Eisenhower aircraft carrier with tons of different weapons that i wont go into yet, the Archer Howitzer that i think we agreed the U.S. would use, and one other thing that i forgot to tell u about. it's called the Land Warrior, and it combines everything a soldier needs to survive (not including food ;-o). it has a system where if u r a soldier, you can communicate with a nav screen with your squad and such. you can see around corners without having to stick your head around because there is a camera on the assault rifle that links up to your helmet eyepiece, and there is an aiming reticule on the helmet eyepiece so you can electrically blind fire. (tom wore this helmet and backpack and stuff in my Atlantis Escapade cover). it also has a thing where the captains and commanders inside the Stryker tanks can communicate orders to soldiers wearing the land warrior system.

(Brandon) First off, HA HA! No school on thursday, no school on thurday, yeah! :-) Second, DONT COLOR THE MAP IN YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U HAVE ALREADY, I hate to do this to you, but you might have to re draw it. OK, reason behind this, I was in school today completely out of it because I was obsessing over how bad Atlantis and its culture currently is, when in Social Studies we watched a movie on the seven Wonders of Rome (e.g. Circus Maximus, Trajan's Forum, the Colosseum, etc). It was then I realized instead of a primitive hunter-gatherer culture, the Atlantians should have a highly developed culture similar to that of Greece in the time of Plato. Of course, the few thousand years since them wouldn't have been spent wholly idle. They would have advanced catapults and bows, steel weaponry, and many other ingenious improvements. Therefore, I propose we take Mt. Tyrannosaurus completely off the map, and replace it with some architectural wonder. It could be like the Parthenon but have a couple of its own unique add ons, or like the colosseum, again with its own add ons

(w) ok, im not in a very atlantisy mood right now, so i don't really know what to say to that except for that it's a great idea. i definitely think that atlantians should have an advanced culture and a "wonder" with like amazing weapons and stuff (ill talk more about that later). but, as with every idea, there are some problems and questions. 1: if the Atlantians survived underwater all that time with just gas to keep them alive, how did they develop their culture? 2: how did the atlantians "breed" when they were just being preserved? 3: i didn't think there was any gunpowder on Atlantis. 4: the whole Mount Tyrannosaurus thing is just so awesome with like the helicopter pad inside/ under the volcano and like the troops and artillery and council and all this stuff that just makes it like the landmark death star for the bad guys. i mean, how could you take that out? that would make it much worse. however, i have an idea to fix this. how about we have the atlantian "wonder" on the atlantis plain right to the north of Mt. Tyrannosaurus and have some sort of communication between the two via the Atlantis Strait. because the wonder, what ever it is, would be sort of like the atlantian main base and headquarters and all and like have mt. tyrannosaurus be the middle eastern headquarters and the council where all the generals and queen rex meet would be in mt. tyrannosaurus. anyway, here are some of the atlantian's "inventions": giant triple crossbow, fire arrow explosives, fire arrow explosive launchers that have multiple fire arrow explosives in them, steel battle tanks with tons of high- power munitions and ballistas and stuff in them, battle tower- similar to romans, more high- powered crossbows so that it combines the sheer power of a bow and arrow or a ballista with the easy-to-use, transportability of a crossbow, better armor, some awesome throwing knives so that no matter where you hit the enemy, he is always dead/ wounded, not just hit with the hilt. final invention: they would make amazing advances in technology and invent like spedometers and all of these modern things. also, i can't believe i spent all that time talking about the weapons because if the Atlantians were improving and inventing at the rate of the greek guys, then they would've been that advanced in like 100 years. by now they would probably be much more advanced than we are.

(brandon) yeah, ur right, we need to keep Mt. Tyrannosaurus. However, how about it is their 'double-secret-classified' main base, and the 'Wonder' is just a decoy main base? It would still be a large HQ, just not the main base. I'm struggling to think wat kind of wonder it would be. OK, second, uhhh, I really am trying to figure out a plausible way in which the Atlantians could have survived. I'll get back to u on that one. However, it should be such that they were unable to move or something, and they were all perfectly preserved. Atlantis resurfaces, and they 'wake up', with exactly the same stuff as they had before they sunk (e.g., they would have made all of those advanced weapons and stuff before the sunk). As far as more advancements, they should have a ton of economical as well as military advancements. I really want to make this place mysterious, so that the reader will be shown examples of a different world, without being able to know everything about the place, which strips away the mystery. I don't know if they should invent speedometers, but they should invent some kind of advanced transportation, and much better warships. Definately no cars or anything remotely like them, but how about some kind of war-saddle for a Dinosaur? that would be cool. They would also have regular travelling saddles for the Dinosaurs. Their favorite mount should be the Raptor, as long as they hang on tight. For warfare, they should have gigantic troop-carrying saddles for Diplodicus, where they can just like, sling it over, buckle it on, and just hang on to the holds. They could also have a war saddle for it, like some kinda platform on it's back, and maybe on at the top of its head (remembering that Diplodicus was physically unable to lift it's neck above it's shoulder) for a scout or lookout. Next, I never said that Atlantians would have gunpowder. How about they have some kind of other powder which functions almost exactly the same as gunpowder except better? It could be like, waterproof or something. But they could make it out of the plants on the island. Oh, also, the atlantians wouldn't have developed their culture while they were underwater. They would be somewhere, just like, sleeping. I gotta go, I'll type later.

(Brandon) KK, im back (no dugh). OK, main question of this post is: what will the wonder be and where will it be??? We can't have it in the middle of the plains. We need to have it at the heart of some giant city. I also think we're gonna have to make Atlantis bigger (at least on the map) Maybe we could have it be three different rings, all looking like they fit together, kinda like the modern continents. Sorry, but we are gonna have to redraw all of the maps. There is no choice. Atlantians need to have the most land of any country on Atlantis, and the current terrain ain't gonna cut it. The current stuff we have drawn will be the middle and inner rings of Atlantis, the island with Mt. Tyrannosaurus being the inner ring. Everything else can be the same except that we need to add more land around the current. However, we can keep your map that you just drew, and make it a close up of the inner two rings. we should also have a final map that is a close up of just the island with Mt. Tyrannosaurus on it. No, there is no room for debate here, I am saying that it needs this, and that this is final. So again, don't even talk to me about the word no for the next couple days. Anyways, the outer ring of Atlantis should be completly rain forrest except on the coast, and the rain forrest will be too dense and dangerous for any country because Dinosaurs, Atlantians, and other dangers lurk within. Therefore, all of the Outer Ring that is controlled by countries other than Atlantis will be on the coast. OK, NOW im out of ideas. Your turn. I still don't know where or what the Wonder of Atlantis will be, OHHHHOHOHOHOHOh, I just got a new idea. How about each Atlantian city has a capitol (just like the U.S.A.!), and the capitol is like, where all of the important stuff is, and each of the cities has a wonder, and in the city at the bottom of Mt. Tyrannosaurus the wonder is the big one we are talking about, but all of the other cities have smaller wonders. Yeah. OK. There. Thats my idea. woo hoo. I still don't know what the big wonder will be, and all of the smaller wonders will be different. Yay. OK, i'll type more later

(w) all right. YESSIR! i WILL make the map as you say, SIR! as for the oohhoohoo rainforest SOOOOOO dangerous thing, well... LOL! all right, so the forest is too big and dense for vehicles, and so there are dangerous things in the forest that try to attack you, and all of that spooky stuff, and so no regular soldiers can go in there because they will be eaten alive, and maybe Tom and matt and gang could survive in there (and tom eventually in the story WILL have to) but otherwise on everything else great ideas. and we will have the rainforest thing. anyway, i dont know what the wonder is gonna be, but i know it will be really mechanical and stuff and have a lot of machines in it and it will be a big building. by the way, PPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE respond to my previous entry!!! it is DIRE!!!

(b) Good, I'm glad you don't have any objections to my new and improved Atlantis map. As I told you on the phone, I already responded to your previous entry. We REALLLLLLLLLYYYYY REALLY REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY need to decide what the wonder will be. Yes, ok, now, for the rainforest thing, Tom, Matt, Holly, and Scarlett should all go in their as a group doing something or other, along with 20 other American soldiers. The 20 soldiers should like, all get killed in the rain forest, but of course, the gang would survive, just to show you how awesomely awesome and good they are. Yes. Anyways, those 20 guys get killed, and about an hour later after the last guy gets killed, the gang makes it to their rendezvous point that they had decided on earlier that reinforcements would be their. It would be a clearing, and so a Assault Heli Plane would have landed there, and, now, this is the part I need your help with. Either the gang finds a totally alive, thriving outpost there (consisting of the Americans on the Heliplane) complete with C-towers, a makeshift barrier made of interlocking boughs (big, thick branches) running the entire perimeter of the camp, and men going about their duties in the camp, or a completely deserted base with all of the above except for men. Which one? both would be awesome. But I think I want a deserted one more, that way the gang can like, come over the wall, be extremely confused, and go searching the camp, when the attackers; a wild band of Velociraptors, appear out of no where, and like, maybe there could be 5 guys or something left with Tom and the gang from the original party, and then they get completely pwned by the wild Raptors. HELP ME DECIDE! Anyways moving on, their ultimate goal in the rain forest should be to find the guru. Tom will meet the guru, learn some stuff, and then get called away because Queen Rex (or, whoever is incharge, because we're getting rid of Queen Rex as a leader, but keeping her as a Dinosaur) has called the ultimatum. Then, Tom and the gang departs the Guru's home, goes into battle, etc, Tom gets injured again, and Matt takes him back to the Guru's (both because Tom has sworn to return as his training is not done and because the Guru is also a healer). Then Matt leaves to help Holly and Scarlett, and Tom is left by himself at the Guru's where he learns the deepest, darkest secrets of chi, unfit for the rest of the gang, and then he goes back and does some serious pwning on the battefield with his new powers, but saving the final, most awesome one for his most difficult enemy. KK, ur turn to type again. OH, by the way, TYPE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN AT ANY GIVEN TIME! I love to read what you've written

(brandon) Dang, Halloween was AWESOME!!! We need to do that like, every year. Anyways, results of our abbreviated talk of the Atlantian wonder:

-Wide and tall -completely public, no military (except for security) -gardens, baths, library, business rooms (conference rooms, etc) -location (???)

Thats all we talked about!?! Wow, that was a waste. Anyways, I have a suggestion

Maybe the wonder could also be like, a school or something? And also for the smaller wonders at each city, maybe we shouldn't do that, and just have them have a capitol building in every city that has like, a library, a business section, and houses the mayor of the city. Anyways, yeah, all that, DONT FORGET TO READ MY ENTRIES ABOVE THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SPENT A LONG LONG, LONG TIME ON THE ONE ABOVE THIS ONE, SO READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now, we also need to do flashbacks of Matt, Scarlett, and Holly's lives before the war (you know, like the one with Tom, etc,). I also want to write another battle scene!! Let's hurry it up with the end of the currrent story and get to another action scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna do that right now.

(b) Oh, I have an idea! OK, how about Dr. Shang (in some point of the second book) somehow turns like half the American army on Tom and the gang, convincing them that they are bad guys, etc. The reader will know they really aren't etc, and they will get mad at Dr. Shang. Anyways the soldiers will attack Tom, and then he has to completely pwn them otherwise die. Yay. At some other point in the story Tom convinces the army that Dr. Shang is the bad guy, and then everything returns to normal (as normal as normal can be when you are on the island of Atlantis and weird, bloodthirsty dinosaurs are hunting you down)

(w) awesome ideas on everything!!! i have no objections, and i'll get started on a cross- section of the wonder. and i'm not sure if the school thing was a good idea, but we'll talk about that later. sry, gtg.

(w) all right. i just cannot stand this whole picking on Tom thing. i mean, like, scarlett, holly, and sort of matt are all picking on tom and it gets old. they're all friends, and all though holly has some attitude and scarlett is totally hot, it's not like they spend like 10 minutes making fun of tom. i mean, it's ok to make fun of him like one sentence while catching up on everything, but spending the whole time bullying tom and then just go straight to catching up on things?! plus, even if you DID get away with making scarlett or holly that "mean", the other one wouldn't just be a clone! no offense, but holly's "jokester" thing wasn't really funny at all. in fact, it was almost as bad as some fourth grade jokes. anyway, we can catch up on this one later. see ya!

(b) Okay, okay, I get it! I was trying to have it be a certain kind of teasing thing (like a sibling relationship sort of), and be completely humorous, not bullying. I guess I didn't get that point across. Anyways, we can re-write it however you want, cause I am completely out of ideas! See ya l8r g8r (lol)

(w) hahahaha. anyway, i know u were trying to have it be a sibling teasing sort of thing, but that's older siblings who do that. the gang are FRIENDS. (plus, all of that wasn't that funny. even MY sister's teasings are funny). P.S. what the mmmph is "18r g8r"?

(b) ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE missing school! But enough of that. first off, l8r g8r means later gator. I thought it would be funny (sorta) because you are a bulldogs fan. Anyways, yes I know they are friends. How's it going with your wonder drawing? Plus, what are we going to call it? It's gettin kinda stupid just saying 'the wonder' all the time, and I feel like if I mention it in public people will look at me like "wat the ____" Not that they wouldn't do that anyways if I did say the name. Oh well though. I've been trying to read Eldest alot on an 'appreciative level' but I just keep getting sucked into the story and can't focus on the good parts, I just read it. And, How's it going at Westminster? At trinity, things suck cause I've got this student-parent tour thing that is getting me stressed out, multiple tests that are really hard to study for, tours of different schools, AND, to top it off, everyone in the grade thinks that I like Caroline!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OSBNFJSDF:SDF :KLJNBVC:KJSDFLKJSDFLSKEFJ:LKSDJ:LSKDFKSJEFD:LSKEJF:KJSDHFV:LKJSDFAJ{:KSJDAFlkaJSDFJILUrf. bleh. Everyone like is keeping secrets from me :(, telling the rest of the school, things like that, and I am SO mad. But enough of me. WOW i have been writing way too much on the wiki. Your never gonna respond to all of this. oh well. Please try. Anyways I think the story is comin along great

See ya l8r

(w) all right, to make ya feel all warm and fuzzy inside, i'll respond. yeah, i'm surprised at how well the story is comin along, but if there's one thing i've learned from my "experience" is this. when you're "ahead of the game", the worst thing you can do is get lazy. then all you've worked for is lost. you have to keep going at the same pace no matter what to succeed. enough of the teary- eyed pep talks, let's get going. yeah, that REALLY sucks that everyone is tellin secrets about you. here's my advice for your life in general at trinity. the best thing to do about caroline, is since we know she likes u, just be open that u like caroline. i think, after all this time, the best thing to do is just to start openly telling people that u like her and hanging out with her, because eventually, they will get bored of this piece of gossip and everything will be better. just suck it up and ask her out or something just to get people to stop talking about it. i know u're already with elizabeth, but there's nothing we can do about that because you're the one who got yourself into this (not necessarily, but, you get the point). as for the student parent tour thing, don't worry about it and just focus on getting that westminster application done and being all nice and bright and shiny in the interview. dont worry about the tests or anything. just try and relax and take one thing at a time. (THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T STAY AT TRINITY FOR SIXTH GRADE!!!!). plus, once u get that caroline thing settled, maybe the secrets will die down or something, because i'm guessing if no one's telling u, that it's about u. when i was at my final days at trinity, i didn't worry about the last Israelites unit or anything, and i didn't worry about all the $H!# that mrs. burris was givin me, and now i am perfectly happy at westminster. i know how stressful trinity is, and i am really sorry u have to deal with it (believe me, i've experienced trinity's worst firsthand). anyway, westminster rocks. i am doing well in my classes, really like the schedule (we have PE four days a week), and my main friends are Pablo Luna, William Makepeace, and Matthew Clark. all right i gotta go. i hope u have fun at disney world!

(P) Hi from Phil !!!!!!!! (P) Go Holly with the pancor Jackhammer!!!!!

(B, REALLY ANNOYED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) OK, first off, WHOOAA, slow up, I do NOT like Caroline. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, (ETC)............ Second, PANCORS ROCK!!! Thankyou Matthew for that contribution. Third, Atlantis. I found out why the XM8 was trashed. According to Chase, it was even less reliable than the M-16 A3 (the military's current assault rifle), which I find hard to believe, because as u probably know, the M16 jams so much! Anyways, Disney should be fun. We're going to Magic Kingdom and MGM. LUCKY US!!! My god, being in Florida is awesome. Again, I'm feeling like we need to emphasize the 'Paradise' of Atlantis. I've gotta go now, but keep on comin with the postings, cause I've got internet acess, and I have my tablet (yes, the school one!)

OMG! the page is saying its too long and there's a data base error. I'm gonna delete some of our earlier postings.

(w) all right. first off. who the f*** is Phil? i mean if that isn't u, I'm glad we have fans already, but wow. anyway, second off- XM8. 1- chase isn't reliable, even tho he is a complete airsoft fanatic beast megalomaniac. 2- by the time the book comes out, there will be somethin better than the XM8. plus, i REALLY like the SCAR much better than the XM8 anyway. if you go to http://www.discovery.com/futureweapons then you can probably find something on there like a submachine gun or something that really rocks. (the military has adopted the FN SCAR and is making it their current assault rifle, or at least that's what i saw the guys using in Transformers, along with Mechim Milkor MK8's [those revolver grenade launchers]). third off, hey, i was just tryin to help out with the whole Caroline and trinity depressing-ness scene. fourth, i completely finished the T- Rex drawing with one of the surrounding volcanoes around Mt. Tyrannosaurus, Lake Treachery, and the palm tree beachy southern coast of the Atlantis strait in the background. There was an awesome Chinook circling in the background. fifth, i started on a new map, this time using a MUCH bigger piece of paper and i didn't do much because we still need to discuss the wonder, which is coming up. sixth, i just got an amazing idea which is JUST what we need for the mystery of Atlantis. YOU MUST READ THESE NEXT FEW LINES!!! THESE LINES MIGHT BE THE MOST IMPORTANT YET!!! all right. this is going to tie in the mystery of how to defeat Queen Rex, the mystery of how the Atlantians survived, and what the wonder will be. building suspense... building... building... all right, here goes: in the beginning, Atlantians were having a golden age. their trade with other countries flourished, and they discovered that the Chinese had invented a seismometer, which could detect earthquakes. since both earthquakes and volcanic eruptions were caused by plates shifting, the Atlantians knew from their seismometer that the plates were about to take a major shift that was going to cause a volcanic eruption. they made several highly advanced scientific researches, and they concluded that the island of atlantis was going to sink for a LOOOONG period of time, possibly forever. they knew their only chance of survival was to create a way to survive underwater. but how??? this is the answer: when Queen Rex was being born, its egg fell into a volcano that had unknown powers (it was later discovered that there was a HUGE psi dwelling in this volcano). therefore, queen rex had marvelous energy placed within her at an early age. thousands of years later, the Atlantians harnessed this power and created a sort of giant psi glove underwater near the island of Atlantis. this psi glove took psi energy from the air and converted it into a HUGE pocket of air. The Atlantians created a floating underwater palace that used this pocket of air to keep the Atlantians alive. The Atlantian civilization survived under water but had limited resources underwater so they could not advance technologically. Like I said, the underwater palace was HUGE and had a ton of floors and maze- like passageways. this is the "wonder". but now i know what it should be called: "The Underwater Asylum", or "The Underwater Labyrinth". (labyrinth means maze, just in case you didn't know). anyway, what do you think of my idea? i think it's brilliant.

(b) I just have one thing to say: perfect. perfect perfect perfect perfect. Second, Phil is Matthew. He just logged on as himself and added a random comment. Third, yes! Disney was awesome.

(w) all right. bfor u update it again, i got an idea. the way to defeat queen rex is this: in the Underwater Asylum, the psi pocket of air is being fed by an enormous ball of energy that was taken from the T- Rex. there is like a special chamber or something in the Underwater Asylum (we can abbreviate it as U.A. now) that holds this ball of energy. the only way to defeat Queen Rex is to destroy that ball of energy. There will be a battle held by aircraft carriers and other marine troops between the U.S. and Great Britain vs. and Atlantian and Iraqi forces. this will be centered around the U.A., both for strategic position and for the ball of energy. this battle will also have some land troops that will fight underwater. this is going to be a MAJOR battle. anyway, ur turn.

(b) good idea with all that, and I agree that the only way to kill her is to destroy the energy, but as far as the battle, it will be the U.S.A. and England attacking together the Atlantian defenders, because no Iraqis would be allowed in that part. The Atlantians would still have guns and stuff. Anyways Atlantians defending, U.S.A. and England attacking from one side, but also, on the other side of the UA will be Russia and China, and on another side will be North Korea, and the last one will be Germany or something. Sweet. Cool okay now your idea with the psi air bubble thing was perfect, but it fails to mention how they resurfaced. And instead of an air-bubble, it should be a psi shield (yes, those exist. They're kinda like the psi ball, but they are wider and usually flat. Same basic principle though, psi barrier, doesn't let anything through [unless it's overpowered]). The psi pocket thing can still exist, but instead of making just a little bubble (okay, maybe a HUGE little bubble) it can make an enormous shield that will serve the same purpose as the bubble but will be stronger. It will still be able to hold air of course. Anyways for the how they got to the surface, well, I'm workin on it.

(b) ughh I finally figured out why I couldn't e-mail Elizabeth! Her dad's e-mail used to be bandrews@bellsouth.net, but then it changed to bennyandrews@bellsouth.net and she told me, so it's not her fault.for a while I sent e-mail to that adress, but then I stopped sending for a while and I forgot the actual one and started e-mailing at the first incorrect adress. LOL. Anyways now I have sent her an e-mail, and I'll probably call her soon. So their's that anvil off my chest. Now for Atlantis. I started the prologue chapter, but right now it's dreadfully short lol I wanna make a fan site page for Atlantis where they can make suggestions and say how awesome the book is :-} and their favorite and least favorite parts.

(w) dude, if we're gonna do the fan site, then we have to tell a bunch of people who might be interested in it and it could have a chance of spreading and, hopefully, eventually, we would get a lot of comments. all right. u just keep workin on the prologue and we can discuss it over the phone or something and we NEED to have a sleepover this coming weekend! we'll also discuss the things i didn't cover with my idea. we don't need the psi pocket thing, i just didn't really know what to call it. and by the way, why can't the Iraqis fight for the UA? seeya

(b)Srry, but I'm going rock climbing this weekend, and I won't get back til sunday, when my grandparents are coming over, so we can't do it then, but how about the weekend after this weekend (24th and 25th)? Yeah, I should work on spreading the word, and the Iraqis can't fight in the UA because it will be sacred, only Atlantian citizens (or soldiers) can go in it, etc. OH< I just got a great idea: HOMELAND INVASION! Don Don DON! Russian battle groups attack New York City, New York. By battle groups, I mean a whole fleet of ships including a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier (the kind we use) or two, Destroyers, Cruisers, Torpedo boats, Battleships, Patrol boats, Supply ships, minesweepers, Submarines, and of course life boats. Airplanes and helicopters on the Aircraft Carrier will be hard, because I don't know of many Russian planes. Oh well it'll be so cool, and like, you can draw a picture of the Statue of Liberty with Russian men swarming around it, russian helis zipping past, etc, and like, the destroyers and battleships bombarding the coast, and American snipers up in the torch of the Statue of Liberty and picking off random loser Russians on the ground. They might even have an AA trooper and an AT trooper (anti tank) up their as well, and for accuracy, the AT trooper will have to have a tomahawk missile launcher (Long ranged ballistic rocket) or that new one that we keep mentioning but I always forget its name. Okay cool. Here's my list of ideas I got at Disney World:

-Fight as smaller teams of men (don't stand in the middle of a horde and lay out clips and clips

-Tom will be more quiet and patient by the end of book 1

-We should describe the confusion of a battle

-In public, the gang should communicate telepathically

-Some Atlantians should be separate and not involved in the war (neutral)

-Atlantians should have a complex government (democracy?)

-Atlantian leaders should host feasts and entertainment for Atlantian people

-New beginning, rainy,stormy scene, Tom getting prepped for battle (Yes, he's Tom, but he's yet to get his powers, which make him who he is later in the story. At the very beginning, he's just a jumpy 18 yr old who somehow got sucked into the military and is a general for some reason)

-Prologue (I'm writing it, check it out sometime)

-Emphasize Tom's Raptor vision (regular really good 20/10 vision normally until he wants to focus on something, bringing it into focus and razor sharp detail) (this is only after his transformation)

-Emphasize Tom's like of extremely rare meat (as in bloodier than normal, like a French steak)

-The guru teaches tom to control the air inside someone's body, making them do what he wants like a puppet

And I also have this: I was wondering what made pyrokenesis create fire, and it stumped me, but then I asked myself 'what makes fire'? That was easy. The most simple way is to cause something to heat up with friction, and eventually get flames. Another way is to strike flint with a blade. You get sparks, which can cause a fire. Also, cheating, there's a way to do it electrically: have propane or some other flammable gas running, and then press a button that causes the electric starter to do something or other that makes a spark. So now your really confused, why does that matter? Well, I figured out that Pyrokenesis is actually using geokenesis or telekenesis to cause a spark and then control the spark with Pyrokenesis. You can make the spark expand, multiply, shrink, etc. But in order to get the spark, you have to either use some kenesis to cause a spark and then control the spark, or if you have some other means to get flames going and then control it from there. Cool huh? What's really cool though is if your trapped, surrounded or something, and your about to light like, oh i dunno, a jet boil (which has an electric starter) and the people say "Freeze! You're surrounded, if you make one move, you're dead! So you can't reach for a gun, or even a stick on the ground, and all you have is kenesis? wat do u do???? I'll tell u. U could either just spin around and blast them with some other kenesis, or you could click the starter button on the jet boil that creates a little tiny spark that u can then spin around with and blast them with fire. Much more satisfying than tossing them up in the air or against a tree or rock. Also don't forget to read my entry above this one

(w) i read ur prologue so far. GrEaT! aWEsOme! except for this: i really hate all of the stuff about they called it a 'barrel', i mean i no that that's what the raptors do, but anyway, we'll talk about it later bcuz i can't really explain it. seeya!

(b) the prologue is now done! I've started on chp 1, and it's pretty awesome so far. Well, I'm gonna keep typing.

(b) YESSSSSS! Elizabeth answered my E-mail. Well, her dad did, and he's gonna e-mail me Elizabeth's e-mail. SWEET!

-)

(w) finally! that rocks! now, for my relationship... o lord...

(b) lol

(b) I think we should get rid of a major component of the guns here, just saying 'assault rifle' or 'handgun' most of the time, and only using the actual names sparingly. Lots of people don't care, instead looking down on the knowledge, and I've gotten multiple complaints (from my Mom especially) about the attention to the names. :~0

(w) ya, i definitely agree. although, on like those cross- sections books with all of this stuff that the nerds will be reading, we should have the specific type of gun. I am not going to update the new part of the first chapter at all because it is SO FREAKING AWESOME!!!! it sorta reminds me of a less- intense version of Normandy and D- Day (you still need to convince your parents to let you see "Saving Private Ryan"- it's about D- Day and it has probably the best action in a movie besides the Bourne series, although it's extremely gory). I updated the prologue, if slightly. it's practically perfect in every way! ;) :| :0 :(

(b) ARGHGHHGHGHHGGHHGHGH!!!!!!!! ITS AK-74!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT AK-47!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The AK-74 is the advanced version. DON'T CHANGE THAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(w) who gives a ....

(w) plus, I never changed anything to do with guns

(b) kk srry. Must've been the computer auto change thingamajigy. Did u know, the computer thinks that thingamajig is a real word! LOL! anyways, I've got to come to ur house this weekend. We've got a lot of story work to do.

(b) im gonna wait to do the next part cause I've got company over and I don't want to do the next part with company (read it to find out why)instead i'll do the flashback of Matt (ya know, in chp 2, flashbacks)

(b) Thanksgiving was AWESOME!!!!!!!! I had lots of turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing (stuffing, whatever), a little bit of rutabaga, and sweet potatoes :-d

(b) grrr i can't focus right now (need to play video games.)

(w) i read the WHOLE story. it was pretty good, and there were a few things we can improve on, but i just don't feel like doing them right now cause i'm so sleepy ;alkjdf;lajfdasjfd `10ppujfkjki8476*(*Y^*^^&$ujwa3nu arrgh i can't think of anything worthwhile to say... what happened to all those long entries that we used to do... how's it goin with the fan page? we REALLY need to start one. anyway, seeya tomorrow, keep me updated w/ elizabeth

(w) kk i've decided to sum up all of our previous conversation so that YOU can delete all the previous stuff:

1. just say "assault rifle" or "handgun" rather than explain which type (explaining type takes off from action adrenaline)

2.ur ideas over Disney trip: - guru teaches tom to control the air inside someone's body, making tom able to control them like a puppet - emphasize tom's preference of bloody/ rare meat because of the velociraptor DNA injected, and emphasize tom's raptor vision (like an eagle's, but better) - Atlantians- have a complex gov. (democracy?), some are neutral (not in war, ex: citizens), leaders should host feasts and festivals for the people - describe confusion of battle, army is divided into squads, tom and gang communicates telepathically in public, tom will be more quiet, patient, mature, and confident by the end of book 1, and this will increase over all 3 books

3. Russians will attack New York City- with all sorts of vehicles and ships and such, and the U.S. will have plenty of snipers and anti- tank soldiers on EVERY rooftop- includes the close-to-being downfall of statue of liberty

4. my "HUGE" idea, explaining mystery of atlantis and other stuff for the most part:

-i completely finished the T- Rex drawing with one of the surrounding volcanoes around Mt. Tyrannosaurus, Lake Treachery, and the palm tree beachy southern coast of the Atlantis strait in the background. There was an awesome Chinook circling in the background

-i started on a new map, this time using a MUCH bigger piece of paper and it has Diplodicus, Raptor, T- Rex, triceratops, Stegosaurus, Ankylosaurus, Tylosaurus, and Plesiosaurus breeding grounds, and lots of other stuff

-this is going to tie in the mystery of how to defeat Queen Rex, the mystery of how the Atlantians survived, and what the wonder will be. in the beginning, Atlantians were having a golden age. their trade with other countries flourished, and they discovered that the Chinese had invented a seismometer, which could detect earthquakes. since both earthquakes and volcanic eruptions were caused by plates shifting, the Atlantians knew from their seismometer that the plates were about to take a major shift that was going to cause a volcanic eruption. they made several highly advanced scientific researches, and they concluded that the island of atlantis was going to sink for a LOOOONG period of time, possibly forever. they knew their only chance of survival was to create a way to survive underwater. but how??? this is the answer: when Queen Rex was being born, its egg fell into Mt. Tyrannosaurus that had unknown powers (it was later discovered that there was a HUGE psi dwelling in this volcano, and Mt. Tyrannosaurus was named this because Queen Rex's egg fell into it). therefore, queen rex had marvelous energy placed within her at an early age. thousands of years later, the Atlantians harnessed this power and put it in some sort of machine mechanism that converted it into a giant psi shield underwater near the island of Atlantis. this psi shield made a large clearing of oxygen in its center. The Atlantians built a floating underwater palace that used this pocket of air to keep the Atlantians alive. The Atlantian civilization survived under water but had limited resources underwater so they could not advance technologically. Like I said, the underwater palace was HUGE and had a ton of floors and maze- like passageways. this is the "wonder". it is called the Underwater Asylum

-the U.S. and Great Britain will fight the Atlantians in a sea battle for the Underwater Asylum, where the U.S. (meaning tom or someone from the gang or all of the gang) will attempt to destroy the chamber that holds Queen Rex's power. if they destroy it, Queen Rex will be a normal dinosaur who they can destroy. the atlantians control Queen Rex only because they control her power and they can kill her at any second

5. don't pick on tom (he's sensitive) hint hint ;) wink wink ;) nod nod

6. Dr. Shang (in some point of the second book) somehow turns half the American army on Tom and the gang, convincing them that they are bad guys, etc. The reader will know they really aren't etc, and they will get mad at Dr. Shang. Anyways the soldiers will attack Tom, and then he has to completely pwn them otherwise die. At some other point in the story Tom convinces the army that Dr. Shang is the bad guy, and then everything returns to normal

7. Tom, Matt, Holly, and Scarlett should all go in there as a group doing something or other, along with 20 other American soldiers. The 20 soldiers should like, all get killed in the rain forest, but of course, the gang would survive, just to show you how awesomely awesome and good they are. Yes. Anyways, those 20 guys get killed, and about an hour later after the last guy gets killed, the gang makes it to their rendezvous point that they had decided on earlier that reinforcements would be their. It would be a clearing, and so a Assault Heli Plane would have landed there, and, now, this is the part I need your help with. Either the gang finds a totally alive, thriving outpost there (consisting of the Americans on the Heliplane) complete with C-towers, a makeshift barrier made of interlocking boughs (big, thick branches) running the entire perimeter of the camp, and men going about their duties in the camp, or a completely deserted base with all of the above except for men. I think I want a deserted one more, that way the gang can like, come over the wall, be extremely confused, and go searching the camp, when the attackers; a wild band of Velociraptors, appear out of no where, and like, maybe there could be 5 guys or something left with Tom and the gang from the original party, and then they get completely pwned by the wild Raptors. HELP ME DECIDE! Anyways moving on, their ultimate goal in the rain forest should be to find the guru. Tom will meet the guru, learn some stuff, and then get called away because Queen Rex (or, whoever is incharge, because we're getting rid of Queen Rex as a leader, but keeping her as a Dinosaur) has called the ultimatum. Then, Tom and the gang departs the Guru's home, goes into an enormous battle, etc, Tom gets injured again, and Matt takes him back to the Guru's (both because Tom has sworn to return as his training is not done and because the Guru is also a healer). Then Matt leaves to help Holly and Scarlett, and Tom is left by himself at the Guru's where he learns the deepest, darkest secrets of chi, unfit for the rest of the gang, and then he goes back and does some serious pwning on the battefield with his new powers, but saving the final, most awesome one for his most difficult enemy.

8. bunkers, border bunkers, and police vehicles:

-the police have awesome different colored cars that are either black and blue or white and blue- the lowest- ranking policemen get a black ford mustang (if u don't no wat that is, just search on Google), the middle-ranking and best policemen have a choice from a chevy camaro or a dodge charger (both being 2008). all of these vehicles will be equipped with: .30 cal machine gun, side grill-mounted Stinger missiles, oil slick, spike tread deployment system, smoke screen, gps, and in-car computer and surveillance systems.

-police gauntlet- includes switchblade mechanized knife thingie that pops out, laser, small chainsaw (jango fett), grappling hook, mechanized, about as thin as a rubber band, and holographic popup computer with mini cell phone keyboard, webcam, and usb port.

-police belt- includes grenades, detpacks, poison pills, med pack, ammo, and gun holsters.

-highway stations- mini bunkers on the side of the highway, disguised as tiny hills host a stinger missile/ chain gun turret, 1 predator drone (the thing in transformers that helped blow up the scorpion thing), two Police Motorbikes (blue and white or blue and black siren- equipped assault recon motorbikes), and maybe one police car. there is a communications array on each one so that they can be cleared to shoot the crap out of enemy vehicles. they are every like 50 miles or something i don't remember what.

- border bunker- a bunch of howitzers and machine guns on top of a fortress- like thing that hosts some two man helicopters, maybe one assault heli-plane, some abrams tanks, a predator drone, a C-130, two to four heavily equipped police cars, and maybe like 6 Police Motorbikes. these are on crucial country borders

9. plot needs to be more frequent and interesting (interesting meaning that it would involve drama, love, and suspense).

10. i wrote an awesome excerpt here it is:

Suddenly there was an explosion that rung through Tom's ears, and the police cars' flaming fragments were rolling side over side. Tom instinctively ducked for cover. He was crouching beside a beaten up green Honda Accord, and knew his only chance was to get to his car without being seen. He heard heavy footsteps approaching and what sounded like ammo clanking around, but couldn't tell whether it was coming from the left or the right. He made a guess. His car was straight ahead of him. If he could just make a quick dash... Everything seemed to flash before his eyes; the blur of the various cars seemed to come at him faster than thought. Something dropped with a metallic thud to the ground. Tom could hear confused shouts echoing behind him. A barbaric war cry rang out over the parking lot. Tom ignored it, sprinting on. All he could think about was getting to his car. Bullets ricocheted off of his car due to the reinforced steel and bulletproof windows. 5 more yards to go. 4. 3. 2. 1. Tom leaped into the silver Aston Martin DBs with relief. Most people would say that Tom was in an impossible situation. About 20 Iraqis trailed him, 6 with Stinger missiles. Tom saw it through attentive eyes. The Iraqis hesitated, then slowly raised their missile launchers. As they started to load the explosive warheads, Tom made his move. "I wonder what these Iraqis enjoy on their bread more: olive oil or butter? Hmmmm, let's think about that. Olive oil it is then," Tom thought. He sprayed about 12 of the Iraqis with oil slick. "Happy birthday!" he yelled out the window and chucked a match onto one of the Iraqis. It was a chain reaction. The Iraqis' high-pitched screams of agony were muffled as Tom's engine roared to life. He sped forward, turning and skidding at the last second, coming around 180 with the hood of the car facing the remaining cowering Iraqis. Pressing a concealed button, two secret panels slid aside, revealing two menacing chain guns. Tom opened fire. The chain guns roared as they spat out .35 cal bullets at the helpless Iraqi soldiers. The results were predictable. Swerving again, he changed direction, speeding through a side road as he felt the sheer power of his 705 horsepower V12 engine encased in the car. Tom knew that it wouldn't be long before he "served his next customer". He was right. About 1200 yards away, 6 Humvees menacingly engaged pursuit.

OK THAT PRETTY MUCH COVERS IT!!!!!!

(b) yeah it pretty much does. However, the police cars don't need oil slick and spike tred deployment and smoke screens and all that junk. Police cars chase the bad guys, not run away from them.

(w) correction: police cars don't need oil slick and smoke screens and all that junk EXCEPT FOR: the spike tread deployment. why? 1. the police were the first to use them 2. police cars have had them even before they were upgraded in our story (they have them now, just not automated deployment) 3. they had them in my video game (need for speed hot pursuit 2) 4. it's really useful in a roadblock to stop suspect vehicles 5. doughnut- eating policemen are lazy- they don't want to have to chase the car they're chasing

(b) Kk i'm doing the next part of the story I don't think anyone will look over my shoulder to see what I'm typing (I'm in the basement with my tablet, no one's gonna just walk down and say 'Hey, Brandon, whatcha typing?')

(b) I would like to announce the GRAND OPENING of the Atlantis fan page. To see it, type in 'Atlantian fans' into the search box.

(w) type 'Atlantis fans' into what search box?

(b) ok I'm only going to say it once: idiot. The search box that says 'search' above it? Ya know? The one that you type "ATLANTIS!" Into to get to this page? DUGH!

OK now I have said it.

(w)kk. oh right!!! i forgot to tell u! in case u hadn't already known, the 7th Alex Rider book came out. it's called "Alex Rider: Snakehead" ! it's sooooo awesome! anyway, i'm almost done anyway. see ya!

(w)delete the previous stuff that i covered in my long entry. i'm serious

(b) Hey! It's been so long since I've had time to work on ATLANTIS!

But now I can. So, first off,

I came up with an idea for a semi-pretty funny joke in the car. Actually Grant gave me the idea when he farted, and I was sitting next to him on my laptop, and after he farted I said, "Hope my laptop doesn't short out." then cracked up. lol :) Okay, so maybe it's not that funny, but it's a start. Anyways the gang should be somewhere and Holly's on a laptop and someone farts (probably Matt) and Holly says I hope the laptop doesn't short. yay. Okay... um, I'm gonna type some more of the story now.

(w) maybe, we'll see. are u gonna put all my pictures on there, like the one of matt? also that simile about the dust devils needs to change. anyway, seeya

(b)Hey Will, I just took the SSAT today. I can't believe I was stressed out about it! It was so easy, I think I aced the entire thing. Woo Hoo! Anyways, Atlantis. I think the story's coming along great! We definitely need more humor, umm... that's about it.

(w) good! i remember that the SSAT wasn't that hard, only that it took, like, 7 hours. anyway, i read what u wrote on the story, and i only had to edit 2 words. i just got an idea. u know how in republic commando how there are those wussy droids that fly into and if you don't shoot them down they latch on to you and you have to keep clicking to get them off? well, i just thought of something: how about in the story there is some thing (robot, creature, whatever, we'll think of that later)that grabs onto like Matt or some main character, and Tom tries to shoot it off and it doesn't blow up or die or whatever and jumps off of Matt. Tom doesn't react, so he shoots Matt. The "thing" is on the ground and Tom says in a fit of rage, "Try that again you bas****!" and absolutely pwns the thing. Before the reader can be satisfied, they remember that Matt is injured and bleeding on the ground, and that's when Tom is all, "Are you all right?" and all that crap (i am too tired to thing of anything less cheesy right now) and it's all dramatic. OK that's about it.

(b) sweet idea, but without the cursing. Maybe if it's in the second book we can have language, but otherwise we can have the first couple letters and then have him cut off somehow, I don't know. You know, he'd be like "Try it again you bas..." and then something would happen. Lol i dont know. Anyways, how did ur drawing of the Russians attacking New York City go? Keep the magazine as long as u like, and if u want to u can subscribe for ur own 'monthly copies'! yay!

(w) i know. we should have him be like, "try that again you bas..." and then matt groans in pain, and then tom pwns the thing and so on. anyway, gtg.

(b) OK some big news first: This weekend I'll be in Conneticut (for a wedding.) Second, you know that song in ALex Rider right after Ian Rider gets killed? the one that starts out 'you and I...'? Well, I'm obsessed with that song, and I figured out the name: the name of the song is 'blame'. On youtube, just type it in and u can listen to it. The three minute one, not the Alex Rider cut. Sweet gotta go.

(b) Big NEWS! I came up with the perfect way that Atlantis was submerged, along with every other advanced civilization of that time. So a giant meteor is hurtling threw space, picks up radiation from a star, and becomes a comet. Then slingshotting around a planet the size of Saturn, it speeds ahead to the milky way, gets caught in Jupiter's gravity, and hurtles to Earth at breakneck speeds. Then it charges into what is now Hudson Bay, causing a giant ash cloud to rise up around the Earth except part of Atlantis because of the air currents. The comet strike causes a tremendous tsunami, gigantically high, that crashes onto the shores of North America all along the coast, wiping out the more advanced sea-going nations but leaving the cro-magna men in the inland areas. Atlantian generals realize what is coming and desperately search ways to exist, and they figure out that only part of Atlantis can be saved (because Atlantis extends much farther, in fact from the middle of the Atlantic to about 100 miles of the North American coast as well as 80 miles from the African and European coasts): the part whose wind currents blow the ash away. There's a scene where the main Atlantian generals are conversing, and they say like, "we've lost contact with our sister nations the..." and then he lists a couple other highly advanced civilizations that spawned from Atlantis. Anyways, all the main generals evacuate to the three rings of Atlantis, and they await the end of the known world lol. Oh yeah, just a random note, the people all around the world co-exist with Dinosaurs. The same comet that we're talking about here also wiped out the Dinos. Anyways, so then it tells of how the main peice of the comet hits in hudson bay, but then smaller chunks of it that have broken off speed towards the other coast, and yada yada, everyone except some of the cave-men and the three main rings of Atlantis dies. Eventually some of the cro magna men cautiously return to the coast, now about a mile further up on shore than before, and then resume thriving and prospering, later evolving into Homosapians (us). Now, the three inner rings of Atlantis slowly decline when they are under water, until eventually they get back to the surface as a result of an unforseen earthquake, much reduced. That was like their dark ages, where centuries of knowledge went down the drain and they lived almost like their primitive cousins on shore had years before. Anyways, much more to say on that, and I'm writing the part right now. It'll be the prologue for book two.

(b) more big news, This page will soon be only a teaser for Atlantis. I plan to move all the other chapters to separate pages with chp 1 and the prologue on one page, chapter 2 on another, chp 3 on another, etc etc. Anyways, this page will have illustrations and a teaser, then a link to the other chapters. Also, I'm going to make a page for the Atlantian Conspiracy. Same rules apply there, to get to the Atlantian Conspiracy page, just type in Atlantis conspiracy.

(w)cool! that helped! i put the excerpt on the Atlantian Conspiracy page because there wasn't anything else on there. also, on your "big news", i didn't really understand that, and nice idea and all, but before we put that into the story we have to talk about that in person. The whole "mixing up evolution" thing just kinda gets on my nerves.

(b) Okay, to keep it simple, Basically a freak of nature comet plunges into Earth after slingshotting around Jupiter's gravitational pull. The comet crashes into what is now Hudson Bay, causing massive Tsunamis when it hits the water. The tsunamis sweep over the land, and since they're like 10 miles high, when they come crashing down they obliterate all of the civilizations on the coasts of land. The impact wobbles Earth, making the poles slide two degrees. This causes Earthquake after Earthquake and tons of volcanoe eruptions. The comet's impact also sends up a huge dust cloud that blocks the sun from the entire world. This comet happens to be the same comet/meteor that wipes out the Dinosaurs. Yes, that's right, the coastal civilizations (and the Atlantians) lived in harmony with Dinosaurs.

So we've got a bunch of different super-advanced civilizations all living on the coast of the world's land masses, and cave-men living inland in the mountains. All the advanced civilizations are in contact with each other. Now, Atlantis realizes that it's about to be inundated and they search for a way to survive. Eventually they realize that the only space on Atlantis (because remember, at this point Atlantis is much more than the three rings) that has a chance of surviving is the three rings. Now, we use your plan saying they create that massive psi-shield around the three rings, and then they are swept underwater. Meanwhile the rest of Atlantis drowns. Yay. So in the same instance, most highly evolved societies are wiped out along with the dinosaurs (except on the three rings of Atlantis). Now, since Atlantis is underwater, they fall into a period of technological, economical, and military decline. They used to have gunpowder type stuff, 'flame blowers' that shot bursts of flame kind of like a blowtorch. But eventually they lose all of that.

While Atlantis is underwater, the cave-men in the hills gradually come down from the mountains to the sea where they find no remnants of anyone. They start advancing while Atlantis declines, and eventually they evolve into us: Homosapians. Cool huh?

Basicallyer than that, you know the meteor/comet that wiped out the dinosaurs? this is the same comet, except that Earth is now also populated with humans, highly advanced humans who are wiped out when the comet arrives along with the dinosaurs. Except one little chunk of land that used to be a continent: The three rings of Atlantis. When all is said and done, huge comet wipes out most of Earth in a freak of nature moment, kills most species, only part of Atlantis and the cave-men inland survive. OOO-Kay, now, heh heh, Cool right?

(w) ooooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy, weellllll on that note, i will try to get this right. because of the meteor, the atlantians are the last humans on earth. they descend beneath the sea thanks to my idea (yay me :) ),and there are cavemen on earth. the cavemen eventually evolve into homosapiens... but that doesn't make sense cause what happened to all the history between when atlantis went underwater and now???????????? sorry, but what the heck happened between the ancient Greek times and 2010???? plus, cavemen can't evolve into humans that fast.

(b) okay like we said, the meteor hit 9,000 years ago. Everything in between the meteor impact and 2015 (the story's going to take place in 2015, not 2010)still happens, I just didn't include all that. I'm going to type more story.

(b) Hey, thought you'd find this pretty cool: Liquid armor. It's bullet proof, knife proof, fragment proof, and basically anything that hits it proof. Basically, liquid armor is a chemical that you soak your close in, then if something hits you, like a bullet, the liquid around that area you were hit instantly freezes over, becoming exceptionally hard, like a diamond.Simply, When you soak your close, its not hard. But when something like a bullet or a kife or even a fist hits you it turns hard. Cool huh? But here's the kicker: it's so much better than kevlar. Why? Because kevlar is bullet proof, but not knife proof. Liquid armor is. Also, kevlar takes up lots of space. Not liquid armor. It's absorbed into your clothes. Oh yeah, and in addition to all that, after the energy is dispersed, it turns back to a liquid that is dissolved in your clothes. AWESOME!

Hey don't forget to e-mail me that assassin cars page we made that also has the ARMPS thing on it. Or was it ARMPIS?

(w) just updating here. yeah that liquid armor thing is FLIPPIN AWESOME!!! (by the way, how do you beat it? i guess some forms of psychokenesis might work. u could use hydro kenesis and put it on yourself instead.) the only weakness/ drawback i can think of about it would be, what is it made of? could it harm the person wearing it like sulphuric acid? anyway, just tryin' to think of at least SOMETHING wrong with it. on another note, the ARMPS thing is on my dad's computer, so he'd have to email it to me first. (i think it is ARMPS, but the military calls it armpits, anyway we'll find out when we get the email). finally, here is a summed up version of what we talked/argued/screamed/death-threated about on the phone:

Tom needs an "alter ego", or someone the complete opposite of him. since i know you don't like the phrase "alter ego", we're calling him a nemesis. He looks nothing like Tom, but he is young (we didn't say he was young when we talked, but who wants an old bearded 40 year old fatbutt?). He radiates evil, both in his cockiness and smooth rasp (yes, i know smooth rasp is an oxymoron, but i can't describe it: it's sorta like Voldemort but more humanlike). He and Tom are equal in strength, but Tom has the "light side" on him. The nemesis has a little bit more raw power, and a little less mercy. The nemesis (sorry, but he'll have to have a real name even if we do refer to him sometimes in the story as Tom's "nemesis") completely pwns Tom in their first fight, and the nemesis walks away and leaves hundreds of Atlantian officers behind to kill Tom, but of course the gang quickly "takes care" of them. Then, the second time the two meet, they're completely equal for a ton of hand-to-hand combat and telekinesis and stuff, and then the nemesis takes a huge striking blow on Tom that weakens Tom and stuff and Tom's lying on the ground. Right when Tom is about to be killed by the nemesis, he sort of "grows up" and has like a super powerful rage and COMPLETELY PWNS the nemesis. The nemesis is lying there on the ground, almost dead, and is like, "You wouldn't do this to me Tom. You have mercy. Please!! Please!!" Then Tom pauses and says something like, "No mercy for the pitiful." or something better and more catchy and intimidating, and stabs his nemesis with his knuckle knife/katana and just leaves it there. One question: should the nemesis be related to Tom to make it more dramatic? or would that be copying star wars and eragon? If so, we need to have a chapter somewhere in the beginning of the first or second book where Dr. Shang or queen rex or somebody really powerful takes Tom's relative and makes him really powerful, and is like, "Hail (nemesis's new name)!"

do you agree with all of this? reply.

(w) hey brandon! merry christmas! i think in atlantian fans and our future blog, we should have special christmas updates/ issues, where we reveal some cool stuff. we should also remember the day when we put the wiki up and have "anniversaries" and stuff to make the blog more interesting. i got bioshock for christmas, among other things (Georgia bulldogs hoodie and hat & tons of legos). i haven't installed it, but i'm sure it will be awesome. tell me when you've seen Elizabeth.

(w) man i cant' wait till our sleepover tomorrow we get to play call of duty 4 and MOH airborne and BioShock even though i have it and maybe ghost recon and probably resistance and i'll bring my futureweapons and deep ocean discs and we'll talk about the stuff that we normally talk about. *wow* sorry i just had a hyper streak. c ya!

(w) YOU MAY FIND THIS ENTRY TO BE AS IMPORTANT OR MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE U.A. THING DEPENDING ON IF YOU ACCEPT MY ADVICE!!! ok, so i just remembered what one adept author, i think it was Will Hobbs, said about writing. He said that a lot of times instead of just saying, (for example), "The pain was so intense all other thoughts were blacked out," write about how Tom didn't care about the war, Atlantians, or death. That enforces the thought that "the pain is so great that all other thoughts were blacked out". You make the reader feel the same way so that it's more interesting and intense. You could do the same thing with any other intense emotion or feeling (ex: fear, love, anger, etc.). One thing that i came up with is this: instead of saying, "The soldiers wrought havoc with the flamethrowers," say, "The soldiers' flamethrowers caused a chain reaction of spreading fire that elicited screams of agony from the Atlantians." In other words, don't just say stuff, but use imagery to convey meaning. Just a suggestion, i mean by all means you don't have to accept it.

On a different note, am I allowed to keep doing the Atlantis thing with you or do you think you've gotten out of me all that you can and it's time for me to stop? i want to keep going, but i'm sure you could find someone better than me. if you want to keep doing this with me, respond to all the entries above that you haven't responded to yet.

p.s. if you think i haven't come up with hardly any ideas or contributed very much at all to atlantis, than just look at my entry above some ways that summed up what we did before that. i will list all of the contributions i had in that: my excerpt, the HUGE U.A. thing, we both together came up with the highway bunkers, border bunkers, and police cars/stuff, plot needs to be more frequent/interesting (love/drama/suspense). that is it, but all of my other various contributions: thing about nemesis (i came up with it in the first place, then you set me on the right track cause i was getting cheesy, then i put some extra stuff on the wiki that was all me), I drew the map, I drew all of those illustrations and am quitting the current ones that i'm drawing because i don't know if you will use my new ones anyway, advice about writing enhancers (imagery/emotionally connecting the reader to the story), you propped me by saying, "we should have this three-wheel thing" and i said "no" and you said "yes" so then i came up with the ARMPS thing and you helped me a little bit with the technical names for stuff, idea with Tom saving Matt from the robot but robot makes Tom accidentally shoot Matt and there is drama and such, and probably much more from the previous discussion page that you deleted everything from (in the beginning).

My point is:

THIS WHOLE TIME I'VE BEEN CONTRIBUTING A LOT TO ATLANTIS AND COUPLED WITH THE FACT THAT I'VE ALSO GOT OTHER STUFF TO DO IN LIFE THAT'S PRETTY DANG GOOD AND I WAS THERE FROM THE START SO NO ONE ELSE WOULD KNOW THE STORY AS WELL AS ME (BESIDES YOU)!!!! IF YOU DO GET SOMEONE ELSE TO DO ALL THE WORK, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THAT BUT I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE AND I WANT TO STAY FRIENDS WITH YOU, BUT WHO CARES ABOUT ME?

Also, i hadn't realized that the discussion page was competitive to see who could contribute the most. i just had the p.s. part of this entry so that you wouldn't think i was just sitting on my bum all day.

(b) lol

• • sigh** yes, you can keep working with me. I thought we'd straightened that out? Oh well anyways, that thing with the 'Soldier's flamethrowers elicitied screams of agony' is way too cheesy and too complex to describe that. I mean, come on, elicit? I'm not saying that guy was wrong and I agree we should do that 'he didn't care about' thing, but we have to keep it simple. Keep in mind our readers aren't gonna be impressed by 'big words' like elicit.

OK, this is gonna sound completely crazy, you're probably going to say "No _____ way!", and part of me says it can't happen, but how about:

Unicorns? Yes, no, maybe so?

I know it sounds completely stupid and cheesy, but maybe not Atlantis but maybe one of the other civilizations of that time? I'm not trying to make this a story about enchanted forests and talking animals and all, but, I mean, there's something just plain thrilling about mythical horses decked out in shiny armor with knights riding on their backs. Also, maybe instead of or in addition to Unicorns, there can be knights riding on lions and rhinos? I saw it in a flash game I played and it was awesome. I mean, wouldn't it just be awesome to be being totally owned and then you're all huddled in a mob with like 20 others from your team and you're about to die and then the cavalry finally arives? Now imagine if that cavalry had claws and teeth? Or if that cavalry was huge and bulky and fast and had a horn on the top of it's snout? And in the case of a Unicorn, they'd be a lot smarter than regular horses and have freaking horns on their head. Well, a freaking horn on their head. Just like Rhinos except not as stupid and not as bulky. Well, that's my idea for today. Just keep it in mind, and I think it's a great idea, maybe not unicorns, but definately trained cavalry of lions and rhinos. Maybe not even during the time of Atlantis. Maybe long after, and we just mention them when like some random noob excavating for fossils finds the remains of an army and that army had men riding on animals, then we could say (or some guy would make an inferance or something) that they learned about training and riding animals from the Atlantians? because, remember, Atlantians trained and rode dinos. Just chew that thought around a little and get back to me on it.

(b) hey check your e-mail. I sent you a photo of what I think Atlantis underwater should look like. It explains everything in the e-mail.

Oh yeah, also:

Happy New Year's Eve!

(w)whoa i've got a lot to respond to. OOooooookaaaaaaaay. here we go. i saw the Atlantis underwater thing and it's great. however, a little confusion. is it supposed to be atlantis or is it supposed to be the UA? anyway, thanks for letting me keep working on atlantis. got a little carried away there on my previous entry. also, for the unicorns thing. i barely didn't say, "NO _______ WAY". however, i see where you are going with it. i know exactly what is going through your mind and what is driving you to say things about unicorns. let me explain to YOU what is going through YOUR head (yes, i know that's kind of ironic). there are two types of fighting videogames. the less common one is the melee/ medieval/ sword and shield bow and arrow kind of thing (example: Lord of the Rings, Rome: total war, Medieval: total war, etc.). the more common one is the shoot 'em up kind of thing (example, tons of them: Call of Duty, Ghost Recon, etc.times 30,000). and there are a rare few out there that are both (again, example: that strategy game that i forgot where you can be at any time). Each category has its appeals. the modern thing is all cool technology and guns and stuff. the medieval thing is cool because of how cool the individual units and and stuff are. like, in lord of the rings, you get excited at the dwarf axe throwers and the elves and rhino riders and how cool they all are. and then you get the magic and stuff and it's all glowing and it's really fun. you get my point. medieval stuff is fun. yes, i think that the Atlantians should definitely have rhinos and ride on them. especially the officers. but the unicorns? if you want unicorns, you should write another story that's just medieval. otherwise, i'm really sorry, but that would be too cheesy. verdict: rhinos= OK, unicorns= sorry, but no also, i got the flamethrower thing from Anthony Horowitz's style of writing. re-read his books and you'll see a lot of that. see ya.

(w) i forgot. what were we gonna do for the matt flashback?

(w)cool! i read your comments on my illustrations and that makes me feel good (although, the "Apache Longbow" is actually a Bell-Huey Supercobra but we don't have to tell them that).

i'm ALMOST finished with the Statue of Liberty scene and am starting on some new airplanes and helicopters, aircraft carriers and other vehicles! i am all of the sudden really excited and eager to illustrate (strange and unusual for me, isn't it?), so i'll be seein' ya.

oh, by the way, how's your other life going? you know, trinity and friends, applying for schools, Elizabeth and Caroline and such? seeya

(b) Hey! New weapon suggestions instead of the MP5K for the police. You know on Future weapons the PSD, or Personal Security Detail weapon? It's perfect for law enforcement of World War Three, because it's more than just a simple handgun and much better than the MP5k. Go onto future weapons and look in the season three armory. it's number 9 on the list thing it rocks! Oh yeah, by the way it's a carbine, so it's not like the police are going to become Elite Paratroopers or Marines or something. Carbines are awesome. Okay, now for like the secret service or VIP protection police, I suggest the PDW, because it's a small carbine as well that has more stopping power and punctures most body armor like a knife through butter than the PDS, while maintaining compactness. It's top o' the line. C00L! Now for S.W.A.T. They should use the Kinetic Energy weapon (also on future weapons, it's number five.) as their main anti-terrorist weapon. OOh, also (i just got this idea), all the police should be armed with a kinetic energy handgun, using the same system as the current one except in a handgun form. That way Tom can steal the police loser's gun during the part before he goes to the training camp with the shopping mall shooting spree thing. Anyway, its really cool it doesn't shoot bullets instead it shoots dum-dumb bullets which are made of rubber and are ment to incapacitate. Awesome. Cool. Sweet Awesome Cool. Cool. Sweet. Sweet cool awesome awesome sweet cool sweet. Bleh. Oh no! I've been spending way too much time around you! lol jk. Oh and for the vehicle crews and stuff, their weapons should be the Micro Tavor compact SMG. it's perfect for a vehicle crew (says so on future weapons, it's # 15). Sweet. Oh no not again! Okay I'm just gonna go now... bye

(w) good guns but i have 1 suggestion: someone gets a G36 because personally, G36's are my absolute favorite and they rock and look cool. also, a P90 would be awesome.

sweet awesome cool. cool. cool. awesome sweet cool cool awesome sweet sweet awesome cool. awesome awesome. sweet sweet. cool awesome sweet.

SWEET FRICKEN AWESOME FRICKEN COOL! NOW I'LL SHUT UP!!! YAY!

oh i am reading this book based on tom clancy's concept but written by someone else, and it's called Splinter Cell fallout and it's AWESOME!! it's about the most elite spy in the world named Sam Fisher whose technology and gadgets makes Alex Rider and James Bond gadgets look like legos and toys. it's really awesome, and even though at some parts it can go on and on with stuff you don't really care about, it has some of the coolest action i've ever read and kinda reminds me of your writing (the only difference is that Fisher has much better technology).

about the technology, i will put in a couple of excerpts from the book that illustrate SOME of his technology. first excerpt about his combat and diving suit:

"Fisher was biased, he knew, since the thing had saved his life more times than he could count, but as far as he was concerned, his tac suit-officially, the Mark V tactical operations suit- was as close to magic as DARPA (the Pentagon's equivalent of James Bond's Q division) had ever come. A one-piece black coverall festooned with the various pouches, pockets, and harness attachments needed to carry all his equipment, the tac suit's interior was fitted with the latest generation Gore-Tex while its exterior was made up of Kevlar and Dragon Skin, the world's first "move when you move" body armor. Dragon Skin could stop shrapnel and any bullet short of a sniper's high-powered penetrator round. The Gore-Tex was designed to maintain Fisher's core body temperature and could do so down to ten degrees and as high as one hundred ten. The truly magical part was the camouflage system. The outer Kevlar layer was impregnated with a substance codenamed Cygnus, after the first officially identified black hole. The liquid polymer fiber was matte-black and micro-roughened so as to trap and diffuse- if only for a fraction of a second- light particles. It wasn't invisibility per se, but Fisher had found that the shadows had seemed much deeper while he was wearing the tac suit. Completing the camouflage was the use of disruptive patterning through the odd placement of pockets and pouches, all of which were different sizes and shapes. In low-light conditions, the human eye was drawn to movement, color difference and geometric form. Of the three, form was the most challenging problem, so by rearranging and resizing the pouches, the outline of the body becomes fuzzy."

here's the second excerpt about his weapons:

"Weapons check. His loadout for this mission was standard: a 5.72mm/anesthetic dart pistol with a twenty-round magazine and muzzle noise/flash suppressor; fragmentations and disruption grenades; a genuine Fairbairn-Sykes fighting knife; and finally the 5.56mm SC-20K AR assault rifle, another gift from DARPA. The SC-20, chambered for a 5.56mm bullpup round, was a marvel of versatility and compactness. Equipped with a flash/sound suppressor with a 97 percent effective acoustic dampener, when fired, the SC-20 emitted a sound no louder than a tennis ball being thrown into a down pillow. What truly made the SC-20 special, however, was its modular design. With its subbarrel mounted launcher,

that's all the typing i am gonna do today, so ill see ya.

(b) that is dang cool. I've heard of the SC-20 now that I think of it. Oh yeah! it was in my Small Arms book. Sweet! It's an awesome gun. Okay now down to business. I had the most awesome revelation in the half-sleep that comes before sleep. I was laying in bed and just randomly letting my mind wander... and I started thinking about Stonehenge. Nothing new right? Well, as I was puzzling over its meaning:

Can you feel my vibes yet? come on, take a guess!

Yes, that's right, what if the Atlantians made Stonehenge...?

AWESOME sweet awesom cool etc.

But even awesomer (if that's even a word, I don't think it is) is what purpose I came up with for it. Stonehenge is an awesome, ancient psi gate. I'll repeat. A psi gate. Containing unbelievable power. After the cataclysmic event of the meteor, the few surviving Atlantians erected giant stone psi gates containing HUGE deposits of psi energy. They also taught the cave men basic skills, trying to educate them so they could advance and rebuild their civilizations. Okay I'm out of ideas I'll write more later.

(w) thats a good idea with stonehenge, but can we think of something cooler and more surprising than a psi gate (maybe)?

nice idea

(b) gee thanks. Okay notice: STOP INDENTING! No indents. Just leave it like it is normally. The page keeps getting elongated because when you indent that stupid box thing comes up and instead of going to the next line it just continues on for ever and ever.

(w) ya i fixed 1 of the indenting thingies. ill stop (i didn't know i was doing it and i was like, "why is that frigin' box comin' up again?"). that was a really nice idea with stonehenge! i meant it when i said it the first time, but i just didn't like the psi gate thing. I have an idea tho. how about there is somethin like u no, a underground temple or somethin archaeological like that, that used to be one of the Atlantians' cities, and the entrance is through stonehenge. u may think it's stupid, but it's the best i could come up with. i finished a couple of drawings. w/ the statue of liberty thing, i just gotta color it.

(b) Great idea! Yeah i just said stonehenge as a psi gate cause I was being lazy and couldn't come up with anything better at the time. But to get to the underground city, you have to do something on some specific day of the year at a specific time involving some sort of psi power. Oh yeah which reminds me...

Did the Atlantians have psi powers at one time or another? That would be awesome if they used to then after being underwater all those years, they sort of lost the ability... Remember in Artemis Fowl the Lost Colony of the demon dudes? When Artemis and Holly and everybody else's brains are connected Artemis digs around and finds that humans used to have magic but then forgot about it because they were needing it less and less. It would be kind of like that.

Oh yeah and one more thing for now: The Bermuda Triangle. Atlantis. Link????

What should the Atlantians have to do with the Bermuda Triangle? What's their involvement with that and the Bahama Quadrangle or whatever? Cool idea eh?

Talk to ya later

(w)thanx i was afraid you'd say it was some stupid thingie. whatever. awesome. sweet. cool. sweet cool awesome. cool awes- oh $&@#ing shut up will!!!!!!! see ya, and please do me a favor and don't completely take out my excerpt.

(w) OK i am just gonna say this about the whole us working together on Atlantis thing. all right. so, recently, we've had more than two pretty big arguments where, yes, both of us were being obnoxious. I brought this up because recently i looked on the wiki and realized just how far we've come and how from a reader's point of view, this story is completely awesome with all the illustrations and discussion pages and everything. this is why i realize we can't stop doing Atlantis and our little petty arguments shouldn't even come close to stopping this- partner and friend-ship. Here's my solution: i do artwork and come up with excerpts for the story, and when you ask me to, introduce a character and do a description. i can do a little patching up with grammar and stuff, and with your approval, (if the story needs it)improve the flow of the story. When i come over to your house and vice versa, we can come up with ideas. i will not reject any of your ideas but i will simply throw stuff out there to make your ideas as good as possible. I'm gonna say that my excerpts can be altered in any way possible to make them better, and you don't have to use all of them. if you don't use one, simply use it to potentially give you ideas. The main thing is, i wanna keep doing Atlantis with you and i wanna stay your friend, and to do that we gotta severely reduce the number of arguments. (*and for future reference, if you think something that i did is sucky, just go ahead and tell me so we can fix it early on*)

(w) sry before u can respond a few thoughts came to me, so i better put them down. 1st of all, i just realized something. we need to think more in depth of who is on the enemy's side. Since there have been rumors buzzing around about tensions rising between the US and Korea. Since the Korean war never really was resolved... you catching on to me? Also, since China most likely is the nation that poses the biggest threat... before i tell u what i'm getting at, one more: Russia has long been US's rival ever since the beginning of the Cold War with the space race and everything. I know all of these but Korea we've talked about before, but i still haven't told u the point of all of this. Here it is: if you think about it, the only reason why we're still in the middle east is because it's not a fair fight. Yes, the US has all of the best weapons and technology in the world, but that doesn't do squat when who soldiers think is random citizens pops out and mows them down with AK-47s and for your sake i'll say AK-74s too. it's not like the middle east has the most soldiers, and by far it doesn't have the best equipment, but it does have the tactical upper hand. In Russia's case, however, they rival the US in all of those categories (of course we're still better), and for all we know they might want revenge on the US after the cold war (we're also not sure about their current leader and what his intentions are, i forgot his name). And China, for all we know they might want to take over the whole world! they've by far got the most potential troop number, considering their population. so what i'm saying here is that the three nations with the most true power are, (besides the US and Great Britain)China, Russia, and Korea. The middle east (Iraq, Iran, etc.)

anyway, don't respond yet cause i gotta go. anyway, ill see u later

(b) Yes, I see your point. In case I haven't made this clear (in the book), Russia has been building a war machine far more advanced than any we have. The Cold War was just a distraction so they could conduct tests and whatnot on it without being discovered. It is an awesome thing, and they have awesome technology and stuff and their guns and equipment is as good as the USA's. So, in conclusion, Russia is the biggest threat, then Iraq, then China, then Korea. The reason China is not first or second is because, although yes, they have the most quantity of troops, they're not exactly the brightest or the most expensively furnished. Remember, the economy of China is all but dead. They've got so many people, and thats their #1 advantage over us. However, their workmanship is rather shoddy, and their tanks and stuff are no where near ours. Instead of having assault rifles like us, a Chinese soldier might have a bolt-action rifle and a bayonet. Their tech. still hasn't evolved much from WWII. So now, in WWIII, they're a little behind. Their tactics are simply overwhelming numbers. Get enough losers toting high-powered rifles, and you can put the hurt in the dirt. Now, the reason Iraq is second, because like you said, they're really good at popping up out of nowhere and ambushes and stuff. They're also familiar with Urban warfare. Of course, our troops are good at that too, but the layout of the cities they usually fight in is alien, where as the Iraqis know exactly where the good sniping spots are, best choke points, etc. Okay. now korea, yeah they're pretty good, but you see why they're fourth. cool.

(w) I agree. anyway, another thing. the US's biggest ally is Great Britain. Great Britain's greatest ally, besides the US, is Australia and vice versa. So, even though we said Japan would take over Australia, I think with the US's help along with GB's help, Australia would remain independent. Instead, I think Korea should take over Japan.

GUESS WHAATTT???? I JUST DREW THE THE MOST AWESOME F-22 Raptor EVER!!!!!

i saw your snowman on the main page it's amazZZZzzzZzing except for it has a kinda ugly hat on

(w) you have got to get republic commando for pc for ur birthday! plllleeeeaaaaassssseeeee! get it so we can play multiplayer (if u do get it, when u do play multiplayer, press "connect to ip" and log in to ur gamespy account

(b) Hey, guess what

I had this stunning idea. A role model almost. You know how Tom lacks any real character tributes and stuff like that? Well, I have a role model for him to be like. Don't complain, it's an amazing idea.

Okay, I want Tom to be like a younger Dirk Pitt, from the Clive Cussler series. And if you think that's stupid, reserve your judgement until you've actually read one of the books. Next time you come over, I'll loan you one of them, one of my favorites, and we can see if you like the idea or not.

Till then, Bye!

(b)kk, saw ur previous entry about the shadowing thing (then erased it lol)

Anyways, came up with some new ideas

The Elite Marines (paratroopers) will be called Helljumpers, in honor of Halo. Cool idea huh? I love the idea.

Another idea, is Tom and the crew are in some huge battle and Tom has to lead the Army as the feild commander, and the U.S. is getting pwned, then Tom rallies them and says like, "Tonight, we dine in ****" Just like King Leonidas

ANOTHER idea: The crew is out on a joint strike operation, and they need callsigns (codenames), and Tom's codename is "Leonidas". Matt's could be like "Knocknock" or something, Scarlett's would be "Red Falcon" or something stupid, and Holly's would be something like "Jingle Bell" or something. I don't know. Just that Tom's has to be Leonidas and that I have to have to have to see the movie 300. Notice that all these ideas sparked with one idea from reading one book? Cool huh?!? Well, okay, I got the tonight we dine in **** part from a game at Borders, but, you know, same basic principle. The idea that that could be part of Atlantis came from the Halo book. I swear, that book is awesome. I also came up with another minor idea that Tom should completely pown and all, but some other officer doesn't think it's morally correct and thinks that the whole Psi program is stupid, but you, the reader know otherwise and so get completely mad at him, but then he realizes in the end that Tom is one helluva soldier.

(w)i have an idea: don't u think it'd be cool if the U.S. had some sort of souped Humvee sized vehicle that was somewhat similar to the Warthog in Halo? (would that be considered an APC? if so, we could add it to our list of APCs.)

three more things:

1. what is the chapter that u and liz are gonna write? tell me ALL (*sigh*) about it

2. i think on the atlantian fans page, we should either create a link to the list of all the vehicles of atlantis on a different website and stuff, or we should write them all down on the fan page.

3. what is Dirk Pitt like? describe him to me.