Talk:Atlantis

(Brandon)This is so cool!

The story is going to the publishers as soon as I get it at least 250 pages long, or less depending on font size. What size do authors usually use? I am using size 12 right now.

You and I will both need to check it over a couple times to see if it is worthy, and I will make copies to give to other adults I know to see if they have any suggestions, and I will give you some to give out too.

I can't wait until it's accepted, even if it takes a thousand tries, I won't give up (maybe at 10001)

In the meantime, just put any of your awesomest ideas here so we can both read them, and make suggestions

(Will)Hi!!

I have a concern. Completely mind-blowingly awesome as all your action scenes are,i am afraid that we need some sort of plot. It might explain how Matt and Tom met in the first place or there might be some sort personal-life sort of thing about Tom. For instance, Tom might be Holly's boyfriend and they might have met before they were recruited to Atlantis. What were Tom, Matt, Holly, and Scarlett's lives like before Atlantis? Should that be included in chapter two: Flashbacks? For some reason just the whole "I'm Tom and here i am in all these awesome action scenes with an assault rifle on the island of atlantis and yay, look! There's matt, my best friend. Lets go fight! For some reason i know holly and scarlet who are at the head of an elite squadron..." you get my point: we need a plot!!!!!

(Brandon)Yes, your absolutley right. I think we should do like we discussed on the phone, and have them meet at school, when Matt realizes about Tom, etc, huge action scene, etc, then they meet Scarlett via Holly in a government 'camp'.

(Will)Also, on another random note, instead of the atlantis escapade, book 1,2, and 3 how about (for the title)

The Atlantis Escapade, Book I, Part I, II, and III

The Atlantis Conspiracy, Book II Part I, II, and III

The Atlantis Ultimatum: Book III, Part I, Part II, and Part III

Oh, and by the way also, i finished the front cover illustration!

(Brandon) Good idea, and I love the Ultimatum part. Good job on the cover, and we'll fix the motorcycle when you come back.

(Will)New idea. Again, another minor one.

What about Holly carries a H&K XM8 and a FN P90 (search for google images if unfamiliar w/ the p90) as well as two knives in her pockets? Maybe, if we wanted to push it, we could give her some sort of 12 gauge shotgun too and a Glock 20

(Brandon) Good idea, and as we said, scratch the Glock, give her a Pancor Jackhammer, possibly two P90s, and a heavy machine gun version of the XM8.

(Will)As for Scarlet, what about she carries some sort of sniper rifle (i dont know many names of them), grenades, a knuckle knife, a beretta pistol(sorry, handgun, whatever), and either an uzi or an MP5k let me know as soon as you can!!

(Brandon)go with the MP5k, and like we said, the WA2000 or whatever.

(Will)Also, to keep you getting more and more also's, until they never end, i'd like to know what other illustrations you'd like me to do.

(Brandon) To recap (we've already discussed this mostly), the SWAT guy getting out of the SWAT truck, and how about Illustrations of all the guns we use in the story? We could even put little captions underneath telling the statistics, who uses them in the story, stuff like that. Another really helpful thing would be drawings of Dinosaurs (you saw my Ankylosaurus).

(Will)I finally came up with another name for telescape. What about Atlantis: the game? (Brandon) Sure thats fine. I like it.

(Will)What should chapter 1 in The Atlantis Conspiracy be about?

How about tom and matt are together, doing something, when they get the message that Holly and Scarlet's squad has gone missing?

The only question is, what are tom and matt going to be doing before they get the message? (Brandon) sitting back and eating potato chips in the Living quaters (LQ)

(Will)Then chapter two through chapter four will be tom and matt following where holly's squad went, getting captured and using kenesis powers to free themselves of the prison.

I might need some help (urgent) on the action scenes so far, because currently they are pretty dumb.

I know you wont be able to respond for about the next week, so i wont be expecting anything for a while.

And, with my help, of course, we need to aim for each book more about 500 pages, because, since it's a trilogy, not a neverending series, the books need to be fairly long.

See ya!

I've started to try my hand at illustrating some of the American soldiers. Do you want them to have the same helmet as Tom?

(Brandon) No, how about no helmet at all? In all the movies I see, (like Transformers lol) none of the special forces dudes have helmets. Some just have nothing, some might have a camo sweatband, etc.

(Will)I just got an idea for the covers of book 2 and 3. For book two, what about it shows Dr. Shang with a murderous look in his eyes, katanas and glocks and such ready to kill. In a fade-ish background, it would show Holly and Scarlet with handcuffs or something. As for the cover of book 3, it would show Tom closest to you, with Matt, Holly and Scarlett right behind him but still completely visible (you know what i mean; sort of like the cover of the Eragon movie). Then, again in a fade-ish background, there would be the Queen T-Rex roaring. Like the idea? (Brandon) Yeah I know exactly what you mean, and I love the idea.

I got an idea for the plot of the third book. The head honcho for the bad guys (whether that's the Queen T-Rex or some other guy) tells Tom's army in a negotiation that they have a choice- either surrender to the bad guys and meet no harm or die; the bad guys' army is constantly growing and is far from low on reinforcements. The bad guys (sorry, i dont know wat else to call them) decided to make this proposition in a council meeting. That would be why it's called the Atlantis Ultimatum: because Ultimatum means "a final decision"- well, sort of.

(Brandon) Yeah, except the 'good guys' refuse, instead choosing to fight. That will be the main part of the story, where Tom and the gang go and prove their worth to Queen Rex by single handedly capturing every enemy base except the main one, which is the most heavily defended, and so they go to all the other countries for support, almost everyone accepts, and they are about to attack, when Tom is gravely injured in a sneak attack, and Matt takes him to the Guru while Scarlett and Holly defend the newly captured bases. Their Tom learns new powers (yet to be thought of), and learns the only way (which is special) to defeat Queen Rex.

P.S. Remember to check the entire page each time you log on, because I like to respond to questions, etc, right under them, so just check the whole thing.

(Will) i guess u misunderstood me. i meant that the queen rex and her main most highly ranked followers would have a meeting and decide the whole ultimatum deal. (ya know, like you have to surrender or die and all that). then, they would confront tom and gang and tell them, and then everything else will be like you said. obviously they would refuse; i never would suggest that tom would give in.

(will)i finished the first sketch of the matt picture. im at the beach and there is bad internet connection; this is the first time i've been able to use the internet. anyway, about the matt picture, it shows most of his torso. it only shows about half of his body, but i'm sure ill do more matt illustrations anyway. it's not colored yet, but i couldn't bring my art kit, so it wont be colored for a while. it may be a while before i respond again (soooo sorry), so i'll try to get in all i can for now. i found the coolest weapon in my weapons book, although we probably wont use it in our books because it was only used in the 1500's. It's a carbine shotgun with a halberd on the gun barrel and a small butt so it is relatively the same shape as a halberd. there are a bunch of weapons like that and they are awesome.

(will)what about in addition to everything else matt has a usas 12?

(will) i made some plans for atlantis the game. i made a list of all of the types of troopers and heroes on both sides and all of their weapons and attacks (like in battlefront 2)

(Brandon) That's great, but one, you get to go choose your own weapons and stuff for yourself, two, I already have all the different skills and classes, and three, keep in mind its going to be a modern, virtual reality version of runescape, and we wont get to play as the heroes or anything. We will have NPCs (Non player characters) of Tom and the gang, but no one gets to play as them (except us, maybe). The USAS 12, i have a grudge against it cause it sucks so badly. Really heavy, slow reload time, jams alot, etc. A remmington or mossberg with the butt cut off would do nicely though. We can talk more about the layout of the game later, but for now, i can say that it is a free-world type thing like runescape, you can't win, you just play forever if u want, lots of skills and stuff like runescape, except cooler gameplay, and more add ons. Don't try to make it like battlefront 2. And i don't know if you saw, but I wan't all the soldiers to either have Tom's helmet, no helmet, or a camo sweatband.

This really stinks your not here, cause ive' been bored beyond belief the past couple days. Call me as soon as you get home, and we can have a lengthy conversation about anything. I need to talk to someone outside my family about cool things desperately!

(will) it'll be a miracle if i can respond again, but always be hopeful, 'cause i might. see ya!

(will) i started reading maximum ride. it is definitely one of my top five favorites of all time. it's all between max ride, alex rider, harry potter, art fowl, and either eragon or eldest. i just got it a day ago and im already on page 315. yeah, it's that good. i see where u get a lot of the expressions that you talk and write with. i still can't decide if it's better than eragon and h potter.

oh, and by the way, i know how u feel- hey, you were at the beach for a week as well. until i got that book, times where i'm not doing something were no picnic. I wanted to draw Dr. Shang, but i dont have paper and CVS closes at 2:00 in the afternoon. What the f***? my mom wont let me watch the matrix, and all the other movies we have are chick flicks. (like, gilmore girls, garden state, a river runs through it... yuck). But now that i have Maximum ride to read all those problems (except matrix) are solved. and i got yet another idea (sigh****)

how about shangie man wears one of the matrix coats? that would be characteristic.

anyway, i cant think of anything else to say, so see ya. I will be able to respond because the internet is up and running.

Respond!!! Please!!!

(Brandon) Yay! I like the idea with the matrix coats. Keep those ideas coming, cause the more, the better. So now I'm happy you have internet access. I'm also glad you've had a taste of James Patterson, he's my favorite author besides Christopher Paolini. Anyways, I've done a little writing in my book, gotten to the part where Matt comes, and added a couple scenes where Matt and Tom are looking for survivors in the building right after Tom's transformation. I should add a little more use of Tom's new abilities, cause it's kinda like: Yay! Im a superhuman. I slashed a guy. Ok, done, you can be the superhuman now. LOL. On a rather different note, I've stopped even trying to hold together our battlefront clan. no one has joined. Instead, I've made a clan on Runescape, well, it's actually more like a Wilderness group, and I'm training everybody up, etc, and theres' this new thing called clan chat, where it makes it easier to talk with clan members, and you can assign ranks and junk to your clan members. I've already got three recruits, as soon as more of my friends log onto Runescape, we will have more. We'd also like you to join, on my brothers account. We could trust you with it. I gotta go to lunch, but I'll type some more now that you'll actually be able to read it. See ya!

P.S. Don't forget, you can add something to the article page if you wanted.

(Brandon)Hey! I forgot to ask you, do you actually play runescape? If not, you should, or at least help out with our Wilderness group. We need more people to fight, because most of the wildy is all multi-combat area. But anyways, back to the Atlantis story I fixed up the beginning scene, as it was a little cheesy. I added a part where Tom calls in an air strike, and an A-10 thunderbolt roars over the trees, spewing bullets, missiles, etc at a Spinosaurus. I also have it where parts of the Spino's skin are bullet proof, mainly it's back, not it's belly or head, yada yada yada. You know wat i mean. Anyways the men rush for cover against it's bullet-proof armor-skin, etc, they battle, etc., etc, etc,. Yay. My scenes where I describe Raptors feeding after they've escaped their holding areas are rather gruesome. I'll save you the details, but it's pretty cool, and people like gory stuff. If you have any ideas for more talking scenes, I would be much obliged. I wanna have a scene where Tom is debriefed, but I don't know what kind of diolauge i should have (I know i spelled diolauge wrong, i dont care). Anyways, I'm almost to the scene where Tom remembers his fight with the SWAT dudes, but i want to have a boring scene before that, and i'll need your help for that. I'll read up on Clive Cussler novels, as he's really good at boring and action scenes. I also have a desperate concern. I think i might have left my sketchpad at your house, but i dont know for sure, even though i cant find it at mine. It would normally be okay, but i left my atlantis map in between the pages, and now im mapless. If you can't find it, Oh well. I wanted to revise it anyways. Well, I've written alot, and I can't think of much else to write, so im going to appeal to my dad to let me play computer. If you get the chance, try to play runescape, (if you want), cause thats wat im going to be playing mostly from now on. I'll see ya when you get back.

(will) Yes! finally we are getting a firm communication on this wiki thing. thanks to u, my response is going to be a loooooong one. ok, first off, i know exactly where ure notebook/maps are. Sorry. i didn't realize until thirty minutes after u left my house, and by then i had to clean my room and pack for my annoyingly long beach trip. anyway, the only time i would be available to spend the night is tommorow, tuesday(thanks to westminster orientation and everything). and about runescape, i tried to play once, but my computer couldn't take all of the information storage that was in it. it took like 3 hours to load. once i finally started playing the game, i had no idea what to do and i was totally and utterly bored. so, im gonna need some help if im gonna be able to play again. sorry, i would help, but im a total runescape dummy, and i would need some advisement if im going to get past like the first easy obstacle of starting a fire or watever. so runescape is pretty much a no-no until my dumminess is extinguished. and i think we should, instead of taking credit alone for the books that "we" write, i think we should just write action and boring story scenes and combine them. i mean i write or help with all of the boring story scenes and u write all of the action scenes in all of the books and i make suggestions. why, u ask? because, frankly, i suck at all action scenes, and u r a little bit too shabby with the boring story. anyway, on to the next subject, the matrix. i saw the first and second ones, and they are about the awesomest action scenes u can want, except for the fact that the plot is a little bit bizarre, with the slimy rebirth and everything. morpheus in the videogame that u were playing is nothing like the morpheus in the movie. the morpheus in the movie looks like mace windu, or something. now i know why your dad keeps calling me Mr. Anderson. anyway, would you rather have Dr. Shang have morpheus' jacket and suit or neo's? and i'm still yet to see the matrix revolutions, so dont tell me what happens. remember in the matrix one and two when neo is fighting the agents, and they are attacking him ferociously and he is just lazily blocking? then he easily twists smithy guy's arm at light speed and kicks him fifteen feet! remember when there are clones of the smith guy and neo bashes them all like roaches? it is so awesome. anyway, back to atlantis. i cant draw dr. shang till i get back and i dont have the computer with the atlantis conspiracy. i am low on ideas for everything about the story except for one. on the new map that u said we should make, how about around the queen rex's lair there are a bunch of atlantian guard outposts as heavy security. each of these outposts would be stationed by a greek temple sort of like a mini parthenon. there would be twenty outposts and each of them would have a fifty man atlantian officer squad. the atlantian officers would have the second best weapons in the world next to the american army, and the best training of any atlantian troops. what about each outpost has howitzers? the atlantians would have conventional howitzers, and the american army would have major upgrades. now let me tell you about this upgrade. it's called like archer something or other. it has a range of like 45 miles. it is computer-operated, meaning that there are no soldiers positioning the gun or loading enourmous ammo into it. it's so accurate that it can hit a mini cooper and blow it up from 39 miles away. let's give the american army this, because the americans always have to be the most technologically advanced. okay, now i am out of ideas, for now, so i'll be seeing u soon. i'm getting back tommorow, tuesday, around 3:00 or 3:30. see ya!

(Brandon) Finaly! I can't wait for you to get back. The runescape thing is okay, i can walk you through it. On the Matrix coats, i like Neo's better, and anyways, its more of that younger-guy superhero dude kicks everyone's you-know -whats. Morpheus's is more like, Older, but not old, kind of kick ur butt thing. To simplify, just do Neo's. And I think you're right, I should do all the action scenes and you should do all the boring scenes. Of course, we'll have to guide each other in the process, meaning It will take longer cause we'll have to see each other in person to accomplish anything, but like we said, were in no rush. I like your idea with Queen Rex's lair, whoops, ill write more later, i gotta go pick up my sister from school :( / :) at the same time. Oh well. See ya

(will) i wont talk anymore; ill shut it.

(Brandon) NO thats not wat i meant I meant ill see you later, i had to pick up my sister, i would be back in a couple minutes. Back to your other message, the mortar thing is cool, its a definate yes. The Queen's lair, yes, it should definately have more outposts surrounding it, and on the original map, i forgot to have a russian base somewhere, and the russians will be extremely bad guys, and their main weapons should be nuke based weapons, for instance, their tank and artillery shells could have depleted uranium in them, making them extremely volatile. Also, the Russians should use flamethrowers alot, as I read somewhere that they probably would be good at taking down Dinos. Anyways, lots of Russian bases, more Atlantian security outposts, and many more Iraqi bases, but all the Iraqi bases will be concerned with making money, for instance, gold and diamond mining, pearl diving, oil and petroleum drilling, biological research centers where they make dinos, then sell them and serums to informally mix DNA, etc, all money making stuff. On another note, I got a new game called far cry,its so cool! Although, i will admit it makes me hate explosives, because the people who made the game actually know about splash damage, and their explosives are programmed in accordingly. If a guy yells 'Fire in the Hole' in the game, you get the heck out of their, where as in Medal of Honor Vanguard, if a guy yells 'Grenade!' it means you can keep shooting, nothing to worry about, virtually no damage unless it hits u in the head and explodes on contact. lol. The rocket launchers are so awesomely powerful, and almost every patrol boat in the game is armed with one. Freaking rocket launchers!!! Anyways, my parents are debating whether or not you can come tomorrow, my mom says yes, as long as we stay in the basement after 8:30pm, my dad says no, my sister has school, no disruptions. I'm thinking me and my mom are going to win. At any rate, i have to get off, so ill talk to u tomorrow.

(will) i know that's not wat u meant. i wasnt playing the guilt trip when i said ill shut it, i was just tired of typing. i like all of ur ideas, although im not quite sure wat all of that russian nuke stuff is. anyway, ill draw the new map, with u telling me what to do and using the old map as an info database (not to say that the old map wasnt good and all). i really wish i was home right now. i cant wait. the new game thing sounds awesome. i know what u mean. i hate how in bf2 the at-at's missiles hardly do any damage unless right, right next to the target. although im not sure i like the idea of having to run like hell every time someone says fire in the hole. i like to think of myself as being superior to those kinds of things, even if it does make it more realistic.

on a random, random, random, random, random note, guess wat is sooo cool? some scientist dudes uncovered the extremely extremely well preserved in ice carcass of a 23,380 year old wooly mammoth. they figured out a way to take the dna of the mammoth and clone it!! they may bring the woolly mammoth out of extinction!! which means that if they find dinosaur dna, then they could find a way to bring the dinosaurs back, whether for the good or the bad, just like in jurassic park! that means that the whole atlantis dinosaur fantasy thing may be more like realistic fiction in ten years!! sweet!!

(will) just updating the wiki again... it really sucks u had to leave so early... o well... i thot of another idea. we wont make a big deal of it, like in the matrix, but how 'bout Tom, matt and the gang know martial arts.

(Brandon) sorry, but no dugh! I thought that was the plan from the beginning? Remember, Tom did a 'roundhouse' kick in the original story, as the paragraph put it "just like he'd been taught". That was referring to martial arts training.

But anyways, Far Cry really stinks now cause ive beaten it and I dont know how to get on the 'Sandbox' thing where you make you own slice of island. plus, none of the 'cheats' work. So its useless. I don't recommend getting it. It's addictive at first, then stinks.

On another note, Atlantis the Game: The Boots of a Hero is going to be so awesome. It should start somewhere other than the first battle scene, because that would be way too hard to have an in-game tutorial in the middle of a freaking battlezone. How about it starts, and don't get mad at me for this, on the bus ride to Tom's school the day he completely loses it and blows up the wall? The tutorial won't be completely mind-blowingly hard, because you won't really have to memorize many button combos, because it will be virtual reality. By that time, we may even have it, and this is highly probable, where its like the matrix where you can manipulate it with your mind? Of course, we'd have rules and guidlines that can't be broken until you've unlocked that level of skill (advanced to a certain point in the game). But anyways, the tutorial could begin with Tom getting tripped on the bus ride after you've learned the basic movements of the game and tested your abilities as of the moment. Tom gets mad, and then you get in a hand-to-hand fight with the kid, who is a bully, really huge, etc., where you learn basic fighting skills, then Tom and the kid are broken up and punished by the bus driver, and it skips ahead to school, in base classroom, where your teacher is making you do lots of English work (everyone's least favorite subject), she goes too far, and the machine makes you turn and blast a hole in the wall, then you are walked to the principal's office, where he calls the authorities, and then it skips ahead a few minutes to where the police enter the school, and one of them grabs at you, then you get in an un-fair hand-to-hand-and-gun fight,you battle while the other stands watching (they're idiots), then you beat the first guy, and then the next guy just pulls out his gun after you KO the first instead of bothering with his billy club. Matt comes at the last second, takes him out, and then the two of them grab the guns, and then you run out of the school onto the driveway, where you ambush a second police car that comes in, and the two idiots that get out of a car with flat tires get shot in the knee caps. You hijack there car, and drive to the mall, with a couple squad cars after you, where you learn to drive, you lose them, you go to the mall, you get out, get inside the mall after dealing with a stupid security guard, and then its the end of the level. Yay. So there's my tutorial, please don't say no to it because iv'e already worked out all the details, it'l totally screw me up if you say something different. I already pretty much have the second level done (thought of). I might put it in my next entry if you want me to. If so, just say yes in your next entry. If not, oh well, I can tell you next time we meet. I honestly don't know which will be cooler, the main Atlantis the Game or the version above (you know, boots of a hero). Both are wicked cool, but Boots of a Hero is going to be more of your classic shoot 'em up genre, with a few twists. Twists include: better action than any other game developer's ever dreamed of, actually useful Psi-powers, unlike Psi-Ops, which you couldn't really do squat with, besides chuck stuff at people with telekenesis, and in Psi-Ops, you couldn't even get better at the powers or increase your 'Psi Gage', LOL, more intense action, with intelligent, tactics executing highly elite mobile teams of enemies, unlike in every other game, where they run and shoot at you with out actually using tactics, among other things. But anyways, ive got to go right now, but expect more loooooonnggg entries forthcoming about Atlantis the Game.

(Brandon) Hey again\ I'm at school. It's so cool, my mom worked out this thing with Dr. Kytle where I get to sit in the Media center with my brother, Wesley, Nechelle, and Grant while carpool goes on, because otherwise us kids would have to sit in the AWAC doing nothing, and my mom would be sitting in carpool line doing NOTHING. This works better, because we just leave when carpool is over, which is about when we leave normally anyways. Meanwhile, we get to finish our homework! Its like free period times ten because of my tablet (which I am typing on right now) because I can play games when my homework is done! But back to Atlantis the Game. Boots of a hero is gonna be so cool, and I figured out the second level of the game. Tom is going to be locked into a mall after he fires off a couple rounds to clear it, when the whole SWAT thing happens. At the end of the level, A huey will carefully lower itself through the broken skylight ceiling. Talk about reckless driving! or rather, flying. oh well. Anyways, it's mounted chain gun starts spitting lead, and Tom is forced to evade it constantly, because it can shoot through walls. The point of this part is to try to duck into some inaccessible area of the mall and hide, without letting the chopper know your there so it doesn't shoot the crap out of you. The easiest way to do this is to run out of sight and then hop into a garbage can. Meanwhile, Matt is frantically searching for a weapon that poses any threat to the Helicopter (regular handgun rounds can't pierce the winshield, only armor piercing rounds can damage the vehicle) After you are out of sight of the helicopter for some period of time, Matt finally finds a assault rifle with AP rounds. Then, you trade to Matt's point of view, and you have to take out the Helicopter.

(will) yo brandon!! i thot my entries were long and boring... wait till i see urs! (kidding) haha... not really... I am going to enjoy saying this. Oh well. Ok. Down to business. I can't really say that that thing that u do at carpool is awesome, because westminster is so much better, but u do have a tablet and so that is always a bonus. and if i were at trinity right now, i would flip out in joy with that kind of privelege, but then again if i were at trinity then they wouldn't let me skip carpool in a million years. moving on, my schedule is basically i get to school and there is half an hour to finish homework and hang out before homeroom, and then at homeroom we sit there and hear important anouncements for the day, and then after homeroom we have our first and second classes for the day, and then we have a 15 minute fruit break, and then we have our third class, and then we have lunch, and then we have our last three classes, and then we have extra help/ doing homework in locker commons/ doing homework in library/ hanging out in locker commons/ playing "appropriate" videogames in computer lab, and then i take the shuttle home. about the tournament today. my match was at 5:00 pm on Friday, and i left at 4 because we were so far away, and because of rush hour traffic i got there at 5:15, and so they made my opponent be up 3 freaking games!! you only need 6 games to win the set, and you only need 2 sets to win!! I lost the first set, and the real score would have been 3 to 2 with him winning, and all i would have had to do was win my serve for it to be 3-3... but noooooo... he "won" the first set 6-2, and then i was so mad, i just made a bunch of errors that he didn't cause, and lost the second set 6-2!! it was so cheap! it's like, there was jack squat i could do about being late! it's like having to fly to texas for a business meeting, having the delta flight delayed, and when you got there late, your boss fires you!!! anyway, i'm ticked off, so enough about that. I love your idea about the tutorial and everything! i just have one minor suggestion: when you're evading all those helicopter chain gun 50 cal., when u hide in the trash can, three guys from the heli come up to u and u have to take them out with hand-to-hand combat before you're Matt. (i'm not sure if tom can use telekenesis yet, so u'll have to tell me). But otherwise, that sounds really awesome! see ya until next time!

(will) hellooooo...?

(Brandon) First off, Great idea with the SWAT hand to hand thing. To set u straight, no, Tom cant use Telekenesis at this point, so yes, it has to be hand to hand. Unless you're smart enough to pick up a gun from Matt on the way.

(will) o come on... im so bored.............. :-( write more.

(will) fine. since u dont seem to write for now, i'll just have to update. whoops, gotta go.

ok, now i can update. I thought of an ok name for another series. The Thorn Trilogy. it is about a guy named Kenneth Thorn. it starts out in the first chapter where this assassin dude who pones and is the best in the world is assigned to kill kenneth because kenneth has vital info files without being totally aware of it (these info files could potentially contribute to the downfall of the assassin's boss). ken has the files stored on his computer. anyway, in the first chapter yaroslav malkovic (assassin dude) is about to shoot the crap out of kenneth with a barrett sniper when kenneth sneezes (at least, that's all i can think of, even if it's lame). Kenneth hears the bullet clang right next to him and ducks for cover. i haven't thought of the rest right now, but there is a huge action scene. then the next few chapters kenneth thorn is trying to find out who wants what from him and why. he eventually gets a phone call from some guy sorta like morpheus saying, "i know where u live and what your going thru. meet me so and so (like a coffee place or something)" and then kenneth says, "what are u, a stalker?" and that's it. u like it? respond! and oh, by the way, yaroslav doesn't die until the end of the second book, by which time kenneth is a highly trained guy working against "the boss". kenneth becomes friends sort of with yaroslav, sorta like yassen and a rider. it's really sad when yaroslav dies. the boss had already found a new assassin. anyway i gtg so ill talk to later.

(Brandon)Hey ughh ouch boo hoo I have a boo boo on my elbow (lol) I got back from an exceedingly long soccer game in which I scraped the H out of my elbow. That is the ouch and boo hoo part. sort of. half of it. the uggh part is cause my Mom took me to go see our A team (the best one) playing at a park really close. It turned out they weren't playing there. so i got to go out on a soccer field and watch our U-18 guys kick butt. lol. the other half the boo hoo part is because I just spent like the past hour "playing" which really means screaming at and getting impossibly angry at the Google Sketchup thing on my laptop. I was trying to draw a freaking guard tower on it and it was like "oh, he drew a rectangle here, but I'm going to make the lines impossibly thick and have it so that his second rectangle which is right next to the first will actually be 200 yds away, he just wont be able to tell until he rotates the camera angle" I mean wat the heck!?! I hate that thing. It would in fact be possible to actually make a decent 3-D rectangle! But thats about it unless ur a super advanced techno nerd (even by my standards) that plays with the thing for 72 hours straight. again, wat the heck!!!!!? Anyways, I had much better luck free handing it on good ol paper and pencil, although the lines aren't quite straight, and the thing is kinda complicated cause I made too many cross bars. But that was a 5 minute drawing, as compared with an hour drawing that was a complete failure. And I'm also so mad cause my parents just now told me at 4:30 pm (today being the 29th) that I could have you over for a sleep over, but when i tried calling u, u weren't there! And next week, ill be in disney world! So there goes two straight weeks of no story work. unless you can come on sunday, just for like a day long play date. But I didn't come on here just to vent anger. I also came to say that that story thing u talked about with the kenneth guy, sounds pretty cool, but like all stories could use some major refining. I think the classy assasins chasing one super awesome guy who is clueless to why the heck they are chasing him is getting kinda old. It's too much like bourne, despite bourne being so bleepin awsome. but its still a possibility. My Atlantis story is coming along great, despite the fact that I am only improving the existing material. I made the opening battle scene about a page longer. I also added in descriptions of the battle to make it look more like an actual battle and not just guys standing in huge clusters with machine guns in the open like in Star Wars two when the clones are attacking the droids. (will) yo! you there? (brandon) yeah (b) this is cool (w)yeah (w) guess wat (w) i need help

(will) never mind. i figured it out. Haha gators lost! so there! how 'bout them auburn tigers! by the way, i updated the description of tom's changed appearance after he has been transformed.

(brandon) Hey I watched part of the Bourne Ultimatum It's awesome! I only watched the ending part because Brian invited me to go to Six Flags but we ended up looking for a store that actually had the i-pod touch in stock, eating ice cream, then watching a movie (the end of the Bourne Ultimatum and a movie called like Wookcock or sompin), then playing video games in the arcade, then going back to Brian's house to eat some kind of rice and eggs (which were really good :o)), play the Wii, then go home. Lol Awesome night. anyways i love the part where Bourne's like "You didn't actually think I would come did u?" and the guys like "No, I guess not" and Bourne's like "where are u?" "In my office" "I doubt that" lol "why would u doubt that?" "because if you were in ur office, we'd be having this conversation f-t-f (face to face)" lol thats so funny.Bourne totally pwns. The end of the movie is cool where like Bourne jumps off the building and u think he's shot, and then he swims off. Awesome. ANYWAYS I was able to get my hands on an Atlas that my Dad didn't use anymore, and so I markd it up with all the different territories in Atlantis Story. Iraq owns like, 2/3 of africa, England owns all of Europe, USA owns the Middle East (ironic) because all the Iraqis have moved into Africa, they own Greenland (yeah right, like I was going to give greenland to Canada!)USA also owns Brazil and Cuba, a whole mess of Islands off the Northern coast of Australia, and of course, The 50 states, including Alaska. Australia owns Australia, China owns China, Mexico owns Mexico and Central America, France owns all of South America south and west of Brazil,part of Antarctica, and New Zealand. Russia owns like, the rest of the world, except for a couple Islands dotted over the world that are so small, I didn't even know they existed before I started to wonder if there was anywhere on the planet not ownd by someone. Anyways, I made the map pretty obvious that USA, Iraq, and Russia were the main terittories, with China and England tied for second. Anyways its really cool, and the next time u come over (or me over to ur house) ill show u the map Keep upgrading the story! I love the upgrade thing so far.

(brandon) aww come on write! :-[ :-[ :-[ watever. i'll write then.

I'm in love with the story. This to me is starting to feel less and less of a Summer project or something and more more like an actual, professional book. I love it!!!!!!!!!!! I just think it's awesome because I'm mixing like every author's style i've ever read. The result can only be better. I g2g for now but i'll write more in a couple hours.

(will) YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! u updated!!!!!!! yay! ok down to businessssss... Mr. Anderson... as you can see, we know a lot about you, Mr. Anderson... There are two lives. One of them is a programmer for a successful company, and the other is a hacker with the alias "Neo". One of these lives has a future and the other does not. I'll give you the finger, and you give me my phone call. What use is a phone call if you can't talk? Mwa ha ha.

ok sorry... just got a complete word for word memory of the matrix, i wont make you read any more. jeez i have a lot to say. first off. its awesome that you and brian had a good time, it seems like i haven't had that much fun on a sleepover since i don't know when (ok that sounded sorta wrong). i cant say any more about that cuz i don't have much time. ok, second off. why are we going to have all of the major countries owning the world? i dont think that would happen by 2010. even if it did, the only way i can think of making that work is if we had all of this taking over countries' land in the second book when tom, matt, scarlett, and holly go to the U.S. and they would just be helping the U.S. take over countries... that's probably what you wanted to do in the first place... sorry for disagreeing, it's just sorta mindblowing having like five countries take over the world. (oh, by the way don't forget that Japan and North Korea will probably take over a few countries since they are known for their military). yeah,the story's awesome and all, i had realized that. ok, i finished the most awesome helicopter drawing ever, although i will probably add a few chinooks or something in the background. anyway, the heli is one of those two seaters without a hangar door sort of troop transport kinda thing with chainguns on the side. not like the assault heliplane. anyway, i discovered the secret to telekenesis and life and psi balls and tennis and every possible task besides math and social studies and school and such. i wont tell u it now but ill update it later. sry seeya gtg.

(brandon) YEah okay umm, where to start? Oh I know. With the five countries ruling the world thing? Yeah. That has already partly taken place when the first book starts. I also plan to have a seperate book after we are finished with Antlantis Escapade that tells about like, life at home, what's going on in the U.S.A. while Tom and the gang are on Atlantis. That's when we'll tell how all the countries came to own the land they did. But in the book that we are currently writing, It will partly have taken place already, and then the rest of the stuff that hasn't yet been taken over by one or another country will be taken over while Tom's on Atlantis. Yes, in one book or another, the gang will go 'home' to the U.S.A. to fight and win countries on the world. That'll probably be like the second or third book. It might be the first. Japan and Korea are actually not on the map anywhere, but i'm going to have them take Australia. wait, change that, Japan and Korea own Australia. Russia pwns in the book. so does U.S.A. but russia pwns almost as much or the same amount.

The helicopter thing sounds cool. We might be able to use it as the SWAT copter for when Tom and Matt are battling the copter.

Awesome with the figuring out telekenesis, but i seriously doubt you actually have (no offense)

PLEASE UPGRADE THE EXISTING STORY ON THE WIKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BUT DON'T UPGRADE THE LAST PART YET!!!!!!!!!!!I AM CURRENTLY WORKING ON IT AND IT'LL SCREW US ALL UP IF YOU UPDATE THAT PART, SO DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(b)hi

(b)befor u do anything, lets talk about the Police cars

(w) ok so did u like the camaro or the challenger better and wat was that other car u were talking about

(b) dont type anything for a minute

(b) im about to do a really long entry on police cars so dont freak out if i dont respond

(b) ok so i was thinking that the police cars should have the regular stuff as well as a mounted .30 cal on the roof right in front of the sunroof so the police guys can just poke their heads out and shoot at watever they are supposed to shoot at

(b) they'd also have bullet proof windows and chassis, but the tires will be regular tires oh also, i liked the camaro 2008 better

(b)ur turn

(w) ok

(b) oh also, stop typing for a minute and read my previous post

(brandon) ughh, i'm finally finished with homework. It takes so long and it's so pointless! Oh well though. Anyways, atlantis. The gauntelets are gonna be so cool. They'll have a full color hologram projector, a grappel (you know like in James bond, where they shoot that cord thing and it somehow sticks to the wall, and then they climb up it), a tacer device so that they can't get lost, a rotating saw that comes out of the side kinda like the alex rider beethoven discman player thing that doubles as a chain saw. It'll also have a little mini packet of condensed and freezed dried food, a water filter, a translator, and a sassy little computer that tells the wearer like 'turn right here' or like, 'incoming mortar'. Anyways my point is they'll be really cool. Maybe the ones for the officers can have like little tiny survival lasers in them, not very high powered but enough power to melt a centimeter of metal after a sustained blast of 10 seconds or something. The laser should also have a stun mode, oops gotta go i'll talk more l8tr.

(brandon) Hey i found the secret for me being able to write a 'lot of the story at one time without getting totally bored: listen to music while i type. I'm going to do this every day now from now on. I love this book! I added some better descriptions of all the characters so far, or at least, I'm working on them.

(w) i finished coloring the helicopter! i gave it awesome jungle camo

(brandon) cool! I love jungle camo the most. I have to go to bed :(:(:(:[:-[ in a few minutes, and I'm going ta spend it writing in the book, so I'm going to shut up on here for now. Please, please, PLEASE upgrade the descriptions of the characters.

(w) i just updated the descriptions of scartlett and holly, matt didn't need any.

hey brandon im so sorry, you cant come over (and u need to come to my house since u've had me over like three times in a row) the weekend of October 12, 13, and 14 because as u know i had steven over, but then steven said he was sure he wasn't gonna have a "good time" so he called his dad w/ out telling me and his dad picked him up at 9:30 (pm)! i mean lol! gosh! when i asked him why he was leaving, he was like, "i dunno? stuff." and he really just didn't want to be there. guess wat he told me he was the 2nd most popular kid at trinity, and i was like, ya suuuuurrrreee ya are steven, cuz, i mean who cares how popular u r? anyway, that really sucks cuz if i knew that he was gonna bail out on me i would've had u over. o well... remember that really nice kid who's like one of my best friends at westminster named pablo luna? well, we dont have school monday the 15th because of fall break, so i was thinking i would have him to spend the night sunday the 14th, which means that u could come over next weekend, theoretically. anyway, my mom wont let me get a webcam, so for future reference, stop bugging me about it because the answer, regretfully, will be no. but just let me know wat else i can update on the story, and u REALLY need to change the part where scarlett and holly reunite with tom and matt (im sorry, but "OMG! OMG! TISNF! My BFF Jill DIED!! Oh my god! I cant believe it's u!!!" is almost cheesier than star wars episode three padme). Ur gonna have to suck it up and do a better job of the reunitings (read the reunitings of artemis fowl and such where u actually like when they're reunited and it's not all cheesy). Or, u could just have scarlett or holly say, like, "How did you and matt end up here? what happened" i know thats cheesy too but i am tired and it's 10:08 and at the moment i cant think of anything better. by the way, i also improved my drawings of tom and dr. shang so that they look more like the descriptions in the book (tom- ocean blue, hard eyes and rough face, dr. shang- fiery burning in his eyes and all that). so in total my drawings are: improved first book cover with improved tom and title that looks better, dr. shang second book cover, color atlantian, just pencil version of tom with no color and face that looks nothing like him, color camo helicopter with chinook in the near background, assault recon motorbike (color), matt drawing that's not color at all, and non color awesome aston martin with chain guns and missiles and all that. 8 drawings in all- not bad, but here is a list that i can come up with so u let me know if there's anything else:

             -scene inside the research facility where raptors attack tom and all that
             -battle scene in book 1
             -book 3 cover with tom, matt, scarlett and holly
             -assault heliplane
             -when tom uses telekenesis somewhere 
             -scenes near mt. tyrannosaurus in book 3 and near the lake with kracken and air craft carrier and all
             -book 3 final battle scene
             -rooftop overlooking the courtyard of facility 1 (when Tom's sniping) (We can talk about this l8r, DONT draw it yet
             -Mt. Tyrannosaurus
             -Drawing of basic layout of a facility (1, 2, or 3) (again, we can go over this l8r.)

(w) i updated the OMG scene, it's sooooooooooo much better u should be happy im ur partner otherwise that scene would be totally crappy  :-o

Like my oo face that says oooo?

for some reason the best time that the story was completely totally exciting was when i had u over and like, for the first time we didn't like videogames and we talked about how awesome the story was gonna be in the tree fort and discussed who should have what weapons and names and everything and personal stuff and then i gave u that ghost recon game... i wish our sleepovers were still that fun. come to my house next weekend

(w) also- i just got this great idea for an action scene in book 2 in the U.S. it just popped into my head and so i wrote it down on a piece of paper. rather than ur action scenes that combine like everything, i just built up suspense. it is by far the best action scene i have ever written. wat happens before the action scene: police, like, do something or other that uses their awesome cars an d guns and all that , and they get in their cars (this is all wat happened before i started writing so i haven't figured this out yet). anyway, wat happens in the excerpt i wrote is that their cars get blown up by Stinger missiles, and tom instinctively ducks for cover. then he sprints to his car the aston martin and drops like a gun or something and the iraquis charge (they are the ones with the stinger missiles and machine guns). tom sprays oil slick at them and makes a joke as he does it, and they all blow up. it says their screams of agony were muffled by the roar of tom's car starting or something. Tom speeds away, but knows that he wont be safe for long. then he sees like 6 humvees in his rear view. it is 10 times cooler than that in the thing i wrote, but i didn't bother copying it for you onto this website (if u want me to, just so u can check it out, i can). by the way, i got mozilla firefox on my computer!

ok here's my excerpt:

Suddenly there was an explosion that rung through Tom's ears, and the police cars' flaming fragments were rolling side over side. Tom instinctively ducked for cover. He was crouching beside a beaten up green Honda Accord, and knew his only chance was to get to his car without being seen. He heard heavy footsteps approaching and what sounded like ammo clanking around, but couldn't tell whether it was coming from the left or the right. He made a guess. His car was straight ahead of him. If he could just make a quick dash... Everything seemed to flash before his eyes; the blur of the various cars seemed to come at him faster than thought. Something dropped with a metallic thud to the ground. Tom could hear confused shouts echoing behind him. A barbaric war cry rang out over the parking lot. Tom ignored it, sprinting on. All he could think about was getting to his car. Bullets ricocheted off of his car due to the reinforced steel and bulletproof windows. 5 more yards to go. 4. 3. 2. 1. Tom leaped into the silver Aston Martin DBs with relief. Most people would say that Tom was in an impossible situation. About 45 Iraqis trailed him, 15 with Stinger missiles. Tom saw it through attentive eyes. The Iraqis flinched and slowly raised their missile launchers. As they started to load the explosive warheads, Tom made his move. "I wonder what these Iraqis enjoy on their bread more: olive oil or butter? Hmmmm, let's think about that. Olive oil it is then," Tom thought triumphantly. He sprayed 15 Iraqis carrying Stinger missiles and handguns with oil slick. "Happy birthday!" Tom yelled out the window and chucked a match onto one of the Iraqis. It was a chain reaction. The Iraqis' high-pitched screams of agony were muffled as Tom's engine roared to life. He sped through a side road and felt the sheer power of his 705 horsepower V12 engine encased in the car. Tom knew that it wouldn't be long before he "served his next customer". He was right. About 1200 yards away, 6 Humvees menacingly engaged pursuit.

(Brandon) Danng, thats awesome. I have so many things to tell u but I don't want to type any of them because they will sound really sissy or something. Anyways, first off, that sucks that stephen baled out on u. He's such a noob sometimes. Two, he is DEFINATELY NOT the most popular kid at trinity. I would actually say he's down there below Linzy and Brandon C. and Ta-neal. He's like the least popular. Maybe he said the most poopular. not popular. Anyways, that action scene is the best, I can alter it a little if u want, and extend it. That is by far the best u have ever written. Srry on the re uniting thing, but i just suck at that, and I can't help that. I wouldn't have been able to come over to ur house on the 13 or 14 anyways, because I was camping. More details on that later. I've updated ur list of things to draw. How about for the Tom using telekenesis thing, we can draw him catching the knife that the Atlantian officer throws at Luke right after the katana duel that Tom and the Officer have. For ur action scene, it never actually explains why the Iraqis are on fire. It just says they got sprayed with oil slick. U need to have something, like maybe Tom shoots something at their feet and the spark causes it to blow up.

(b) hey will

(w) hey

(b) umm... have u read my post?

(w) not yet

(b) read it and while u do i'll be typing something

(b) Dude this really is not helpful i need to type the story. Please, can we just do this some other time on the phone?

(w) kk

(w)ok i tried to continue with the debriefing, but i really realized that i had no idea where the story was going, plus, even if i had come up with a great idea for the debriefing scene, u would have probably corrected it a ton like u did with my feeble attempt at a start for the second book. anyway, i am not in a writing mode right now. ill wait till i am so that i don't screw up the story. plus, what are these boring scenes gonna be like? it cant all just be catching up on stuff. There's gotta be some way that we can incorporate semi- action into this without it all just being, like, super-dee-duper action. like when tom visits the guru and all that where he's not just cooped up in the research facilities drinking coke and watching TV and stuff. but then again, it's not like tom can just go roam around atlantis whenever he pleases. he has to have ORDERS! but we really need to find a way to have "boring story" that i like to call "plot", that is not just hanging out in the research facilities. remember, we can spend a lot of time on this because it is much easier to write action scenes than to write boring scenes that long.

(brandon) I agree... the plot needs to have some action incorporated in it, but not so much that the reader never gets a break from the fast-paced constant adrenaline of an action scene. It needs to be sorda like the boring scenes in Eldest or Eragon. Christopher Paolini does a great job with action and plot alike, but he really shines with his plot. Notice, he has like only one or two HUGE action scenes, then he has a lot of AMAZING plot. that way, we get an actual story that we want to keep reading, but we don't put the book down to give ourselves an 'artificial' adrenaline break. Another thing in the plot scenes that we could have is romance. romance and drama can sometimes take the place of semi-action. As for orders, the gang will get a lot of orders once they have a dinner scene. The next morning, they'll have to deal with first this, then that, then this, etc. The gang will also have training. Tom will, of course, outshine all the others, but the others will also outshine the other students by far. Matt, Holly, and Scarlett need to totally pwn, but they need to on a lower level than Tom and a much, much, much higher level than everyone else.

(w) yep, thank u for answering my question, but let's have a discussion about what the story is gonna be like. i mean, like what is gonna happen with matt and scarlett's relationship? are they gonna break up and have a ton of sadness and all, cuz, frankly, every book needs sadness/drama. will tom be holly's boyfriend, or would that be too cheesy? will tom and matt stop being friends because matt is scarlett's boyfriend and spends all his time with her? this is wat im talking about. im gonna call u.

anyway, summary of our phone discussion:

1. highway stations- mini bunkers on the side of the highway, disguised as tiny hills conceal unmanned mini helicopters, probe droids, mine detector-and-destroyer mini tanks, and all of these are controlled by laptops. there is a communications array on each one so that they can be cleared to shoot the crap out of enemy vehicles. there are upgraded police cars and policemen and a stinger missile/ chain gun turret.

2. police gauntlet- includes switchblade mechanized knife thingie that pops out, laser, small chainsaw (jango fett), grappling hook, mechanized, about as thin as a rubber band, and holographic popup computer with mini cell phone keyboard, webcam, and usb port.

3. police belt- includes grenades, detpacks, poison pills, med pack, ammo, and gun holsters.

4. police guns- MP5k, two Glock 20's

5. police cars- chevy camaro w/ .30 cal machine gun, side grill-mounted Stinger missiles, oil slick, spike tread deployment system, smoke screen, gps, in-car computer and surveillance systems.

let me know if i missed anything (highly unlikely) :-)

(Brandon) Awesome! I've been meaning to write all that stuff down for some time now, but i just kept putting it off. Ok. so, heres the jist of wat u missed: nothing! Here's my suggestion: on the highway thing, we really shouldn't have a horde of UAVs every five miles on either side of the road. We can have those on the border bunkers (like the name?) instead of the highway bunkers. I think the highway bunkers vehicle armament should include: 1 predator drone, two Police Motorbikes (I'll discuss those with you this weekend or over the phone), and maybe one police car. We don't need it to be a mega-mini base thing that is equipped to take on the entire war by itself. However, it should have a four man team inside a mini-hill thing on the side of the highway, and the only thing that makes it visible is the narrow viewing slit of open space about one half foot wide/tall that runs the length of the bunker and has a .50 cal machine gun barrel jutting out from it. The bunker could have multiple rooms, like one room at the front that houses the .50 cal, one in the back that houses the comm. array (including one man with a laptop/tablet that can control the Predator drone), and an extra room for sleeping, eating, and recreation (break time), and of course, the garage, that has the vehicles. Four men would be required to operate: one to man the machine gun, one to operate in the comm. room, and possibly two to man the vehicles. The predator drone could be used to both spot incoming hostiles and/or spy on those hostiles (even though the comms room can detect them). Not only would the predator be able to spot incoming hostiles, it could eliminate them with a nose mounted 10mm (about the size of the Glock 20's bullet, which is extremely powerful for a handgun) machine gun or its wing-mounted advanced heatseeking/radio frequency seeking missiles.

In addition to all of this, I think that we should have the bunkers every 10 miles, because every mile, or even every five miles, seems a bit eccentric.

For the border bunkers, man where do I begin? These won't be the hill-bunker things on the highway. These'll be full out bunkers, one on one side of the road, one in the center median thing dividing the highway into the two directions, and one on the other side of the rode. I'm talking 1 foot thick re-inforced concrete solid sheet metal doors, two .60 cals on the front viewing port, one .60 cal on either side, and 1 .30 cal facing the door at the back. Basically, an advanced version of the German bunkers of WWII. These things should also be relatively tall (about 20 feet or so), so that they can have a roof, which is where all of the heavy artillery is kept. Two 120mm cannons facing the front as well as a metal storm swiveling turret, S.A.M., and a .75 cal (if you can picture a machine gun firing bullets a quarter the size of a Desert Eagle round again, first; wow, and second; you've got an .75 cal) facing the back. On top of this, guys on the roof can shoot with their own small arms.

(w)............. i am speechless. wow. (just kidding i wasn't gonna give u a break from the usual revising stuff!)

ok, i have nothing to say on the border bunkers besides that there will be a communications array on top and maybe IF U WANT, a couple striker tanks.

if u don't know what a striker tank is, it is about time for you to find out. it is and awesome tank with tons of gripping tires rather than treads. it goes about three times as fast as German WWII Panzers. Here is its weapon system: on top, there is a periscope (lol, not the kind from old submarines) and a weapons bay. The "bay" (i don't know what to call it) can be fitted with a metal storm, a box-like thingie with like 25 stinger missiles, or this unmanned .50 cal chain gun turret with a videocamera on top and videogame-like controllers inside the tank to man the gun so that no one gets sniped while they're manning the turret. There is an elaborate and efficient communications system inside so that the tank commanders can communicate with other ground troops about tactics and like "Enemy spotted at _______".

i didn't say u had to have the tanks, but just a suggestion.

for the highway bunkers, this is final: they are every 20 miles: there is no debate! also, i agree with everything u said about the highway except i need to add that auto-aim cluster bomb shooter thingie. By the way, i am going to update my excerpt how we said.

(Brandon)Cool. I love the action thing that you wrote. Although, my two suggestions: Have the sentences a little longer. It makes more sense, and if you actually pay attention to them, they currently make you stop way too often in ur excerpt. So have them a little longer, and it will be fabulous. Now, my second suggestion, strangely contradicts my first. With the part where Tom is about to spray oil on the guys, one, don't have him just kill all the Iraqis with stingers. That's too convieniant that they all just stand there and wait to be killed somehow, meanwhile all the other 45 Iraqis with AK-74s (yes, the Iraqis are gonna have AK-74s, not AK-47s) are just lagging behind. Ok, also with that suggestion, don't have Tom's thought where he goes "I wonder if the Iraqis prefer their bread soaked in olive oil..." be too long, like it is currently. Bigger sentences, but not that big. Other than that, cool, and I'm gonna update the flashbacks again. :-) :-| :-( at the same time lol.

(Brandon) Kk finished with the flashbacks chapter for Tom. I still have to do Scarlett, Holly, and Matt. Go ahead and make whatever changes you want to Tom though.

Alright, heres the vehicles for the Border Bunker: Two police motorbikes, a police cruiser, and instead of striker tanks, how about a M1-Abrams? Those things pwn. I realize the striker tanks probably pwn more, but oh well. M1-Abrams are more realistic, and we don't want to completely blind our readers with future technology. Anyways, all of those vehicles and a UAV helicopter, two predator drones, and an Assault Recon motorbike.

(w)i agree with the striker tanks. nice idea with all of the vehicles! i can't wait to draw them! anyway, will the A.R.M. (assault recon motorbike) have the camo? i mean, for each border bunker the A.R.M. will probably have the camo to adapt to its environment (like, if it were on the U.S. and Mexico border, it would be desert camo, and so on and so forth). Sorry, i forgot what UAV stands for (lol) ;-). yeah i will update your flashbacks if it needs it (most likely). I will also acknowledge your suggestions for my excerpt.

(w) i just read flashbacks. great idea for the whole thing, but when are we going to include the thing about when Tom and Matt are in 5th grade and tom rages and the whole swat thing and the bully? i thought that's what you meant when you said flashbacks. Or is that when Tom and Matt go to the training camp. You really need to include the training camp scene before you get into that whole raptor attack Iraqi thing. anyway, i saw a lot of corrections that i could make, especially on commas. You have WAY too many commas in places they don't need to be. So many that it's grammatically incorrect (i know, who gives about stinking grammar, but it's necessary). The only reason i'm not completely updating it right now is because we need to talk about it. Okay, see ya later.

(w)oh, by the way how did ur soccer game go? i found all of the cheats online for bioshock! go to this web adress:

http://www.gamefaqs.com/computer/doswin/code/924919.html

(Brandon) kk sorry about the commas. The training camp scene, well, it hasn't come yet, because there is stuff we need to do first. But it is coming up soon, right after we get a good long catching up scene with the gang. They'll have dinner, talk, etc, then sleep, wake up, eat breakfast, then hop in an areal APC (i'll tell u about them later) and be taken to a phsyco kenesis training camp. What do u mean by the 'Raptor attacks Iraqi' thing? Anyways, UAV stands for unmanned something vehicle. I dont know. anyways, g2g, and ill see ya!

P.S. My soccer game went fine, thanks for the cheats!

(w) i hope u have an OK time at Jekyll! (highly unlikely, but watever). maybe UAV stands for unmanned aerial vehicle? ur welcome for the cheats and ill see u when u get back!

(w) this is wednesday. i finished a black and white atlantis map. you know on your first map that you made how it had like, Diplodicus breeding grounds and all that? well, where it said those on my map i drew those dinosaurs and i think it's looking pretty good. the only reason it's not colored and awesome by now is that i wanted to see if everything i did on the map was ok with you and if we wanted to add anything or take anything away. anyway, i can't really say much more about it- u'd have to see it.

(w) i figured out the Striker tank is actually spelled Stryker tank. anyway, so i found some cool images of the Stryker tank, the Global Hawk predator drone, V22 Osprey, dragon fire 2 mortar, USS Dwight D. Eisenhower aircraft carrier with tons of different weapons that i wont go into yet, the Archer Howitzer that i think we agreed the U.S. would use, and one other thing that i forgot to tell u about. it's called the Land Warrior, and it combines everything a soldier needs to survive (not including food ;-o). it has a system where if u r a soldier, you can communicate with a nav screen with your squad and such. you can see around corners without having to stick your head around because there is a camera on the assault rifle that links up to your helmet eyepiece, and there is an aiming reticule on the helmet eyepiece so you can electrically blind fire. (tom wore this helmet and backpack and stuff in my Atlantis Escapade cover). it also has a thing where the captains and commanders inside the Stryker tanks can communicate orders to soldiers wearing the land warrior system.

(Brandon) First off, HA HA! No school on thursday, no school on thurday, yeah! :-) Second, DONT COLOR THE MAP IN YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U HAVE ALREADY, I hate to do this to you, but you might have to re draw it. OK, reason behind this, I was in school today completely out of it because I was obsessing over how bad Atlantis and its culture currently is, when in Social Studies we watched a movie on the seven Wonders of Rome (e.g. Circus Maximus, Trajan's Forum, the Colosseum, etc). It was then I realized instead of a primitive hunter-gatherer culture, the Atlantians should have a highly developed culture similar to that of Greece in the time of Plato. Of course, the few thousand years since them wouldn't have been spent wholly idle. They would have advanced catapults and bows, steel weaponry, and many other ingenious improvements. Therefore, I propose we take Mt. Tyrannosaurus completely off the map, and replace it with some architectural wonder. It could be like the Parthenon but have a couple of its own unique add ons, or like the colosseum, again with its own add ons

(w) ok, im not in a very atlantisy mood right now, so i don't really know what to say to that except for that it's a great idea. i definitely think that atlantians should have an advanced culture and a "wonder" with like amazing weapons and stuff (ill talk more about that later). but, as with every idea, there are some problems and questions. 1: if the Atlantians survived underwater all that time with just gas to keep them alive, how did they develop their culture? 2: how did the atlantians "breed" when they were just being preserved? 3: i didn't think there was any gunpowder on Atlantis. 4: the whole Mount Tyrannosaurus thing is just so awesome with like the helicopter pad inside/ under the volcano and like the troops and artillery and council and all this stuff that just makes it like the landmark death star for the bad guys. i mean, how could you take that out? that would make it much worse. however, i have an idea to fix this. how about we have the atlantian "wonder" on the atlantis plain right to the north of Mt. Tyrannosaurus and have some sort of communication between the two via the Atlantis Strait. because the wonder, what ever it is, would be sort of like the atlantian main base and headquarters and all and like have mt. tyrannosaurus be the middle eastern headquarters and the council where all the generals and queen rex meet would be in mt. tyrannosaurus. anyway, here are some of the atlantian's "inventions": giant triple crossbow, fire arrow explosives, fire arrow explosive launchers that have multiple fire arrow explosives in them, steel battle tanks with tons of high- power munitions and ballistas and stuff in them, battle tower- similar to romans, more high- powered crossbows so that it combines the sheer power of a bow and arrow or a ballista with the easy-to-use, transportability of a crossbow, better armor, some awesome throwing knives so that no matter where you hit the enemy, he is always dead/ wounded, not just hit with the hilt. final invention: they would make amazing advances in technology and invent like spedometers and all of these modern things. also, i can't believe i spent all that time talking about the weapons because if the Atlantians were improving and inventing at the rate of the greek guys, then they would've been that advanced in like 100 years. by now they would probably be much more advanced than we are.

(brandon) yeah, ur right, we need to keep Mt. Tyrannosaurus. However, how about it is their 'double-secret-classified' main base, and the 'Wonder' is just a decoy main base? It would still be a large HQ, just not the main base. I'm struggling to think wat kind of wonder it would be. OK, second, uhhh, I really am trying to figure out a plausible way in which the Atlantians could have survived. I'll get back to u on that one. However, it should be such that they were unable to move or something, and they were all perfectly preserved. Atlantis resurfaces, and they 'wake up', with exactly the same stuff as they had before they sunk (e.g., they would have made all of those advanced weapons and stuff before the sunk). As far as more advancements, they should have a ton of economical as well as military advancements. I really want to make this place mysterious, so that the reader will be shown examples of a different world, without being able to know everything about the place, which strips away the mystery. I don't know if they should invent speedometers, but they should invent some kind of advanced transportation, and much better warships. Definately no cars or anything remotely like them, but how about some kind of war-saddle for a Dinosaur? that would be cool. They would also have regular travelling saddles for the Dinosaurs. Their favorite mount should be the Raptor, as long as they hang on tight. For warfare, they should have gigantic troop-carrying saddles for Diplodicus, where they can just like, sling it over, buckle it on, and just hang on to the holds. They could also have a war saddle for it, like some kinda platform on it's back, and maybe on at the top of its head (remembering that Diplodicus was physically unable to lift it's neck above it's shoulder) for a scout or lookout. Next, I never said that Atlantians would have gunpowder. How about they have some kind of other powder which functions almost exactly the same as gunpowder except better? It could be like, waterproof or something. But they could make it out of the plants on the island. Oh, also, the atlantians wouldn't have developed their culture while they were underwater. They would be somewhere, just like, sleeping. I gotta go, I'll type later.

(Brandon) KK, im back (no dugh). OK, main question of this post is: what will the wonder be and where will it be??? We can't have it in the middle of the plains. We need to have it at the heart of some giant city. I also think we're gonna have to make Atlantis bigger (at least on the map) Maybe we could have it be three different rings, all looking like they fit together, kinda like the modern continents. Sorry, but we are gonna have to redraw all of the maps. There is no choice. Atlantians need to have the most land of any country on Atlantis, and the current terrain ain't gonna cut it. The current stuff we have drawn will be the middle and inner rings of Atlantis, the island with Mt. Tyrannosaurus being the inner ring. Everything else can be the same except that we need to add more land around the current. However, we can keep your map that you just drew, and make it a close up of the inner two rings. we should also have a final map that is a close up of just the island with Mt. Tyrannosaurus on it. No, there is no room for debate here, I am saying that it needs this, and that this is final. So again, don't even talk to me about the word no for the next couple days. Anyways, the outer ring of Atlantis should be completly rain forrest except on the coast, and the rain forrest will be too dense and dangerous for any country because Dinosaurs, Atlantians, and other dangers lurk within. Therefore, all of the Outer Ring that is controlled by countries other than Atlantis will be on the coast. OK, NOW im out of ideas. Your turn. I still don't know where or what the Wonder of Atlantis will be, OHHHHOHOHOHOHOh, I just got a new idea. How about each Atlantian city has a capitol (just like the U.S.A.!), and the capitol is like, where all of the important stuff is, and each of the cities has a wonder, and in the city at the bottom of Mt. Tyrannosaurus the wonder is the big one we are talking about, but all of the other cities have smaller wonders. Yeah. OK. There. Thats my idea. woo hoo. I still don't know what the big wonder will be, and all of the smaller wonders will be different. Yay. OK, i'll type more later

(w) all right. YESSIR! i WILL make the map as you say, SIR! as for the oohhoohoo rainforest SOOOOOO dangerous thing, well... LOL! all right, so the forest is too big and dense for vehicles, and so there are dangerous things in the forest that try to attack you, and all of that spooky stuff, and so no regular soldiers can go in there because they will be eaten alive, and maybe Tom and matt and gang could survive in there (and tom eventually in the story WILL have to) but otherwise on everything else great ideas. and we will have the rainforest thing. anyway, i dont know what the wonder is gonna be, but i know it will be really mechanical and stuff and have a lot of machines in it and it will be a big building. by the way, PPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE respond to my previous entry!!! it is DIRE!!!

(b) Good, I'm glad you don't have any objections to my new and improved Atlantis map. As I told you on the phone, I already responded to your previous entry. We REALLLLLLLLLYYYYY REALLY REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY need to decide what the wonder will be. Yes, ok, now, for the rainforest thing, Tom, Matt, Holly, and Scarlett should all go in their as a group doing something or other, along with 20 other American soldiers. The 20 soldiers should like, all get killed in the rain forest, but of course, the gang would survive, just to show you how awesomely awesome and good they are. Yes. Anyways, those 20 guys get killed, and about an hour later after the last guy gets killed, the gang makes it to their rendezvous point that they had decided on earlier that reinforcements would be their. It would be a clearing, and so a Assault Heli Plane would have landed there, and, now, this is the part I need your help with. Either the gang finds a totally alive, thriving outpost there (consisting of the Americans on the Heliplane) complete with C-towers, a makeshift barrier made of interlocking boughs (big, thick branches) running the entire perimeter of the camp, and men going about their duties in the camp, or a completely deserted base with all of the above except for men. Which one? both would be awesome. But I think I want a deserted one more, that way the gang can like, come over the wall, be extremely confused, and go searching the camp, when the attackers; a wild band of Velociraptors, appear out of no where, and like, maybe there could be 5 guys or something left with Tom and the gang from the original party, and then they get completely pwned by the wild Raptors. HELP ME DECIDE! Anyways moving on, their ultimate goal in the rain forest should be to find the guru. Tom will meet the guru, learn some stuff, and then get called away because Queen Rex (or, whoever is incharge, because we're getting rid of Queen Rex as a leader, but keeping her as a Dinosaur) has called the ultimatum. Then, Tom and the gang departs the Guru's home, goes into battle, etc, Tom gets injured again, and Matt takes him back to the Guru's (both because Tom has sworn to return as his training is not done and because the Guru is also a healer). Then Matt leaves to help Holly and Scarlett, and Tom is left by himself at the Guru's where he learns the deepest, darkest secrets of chi, unfit for the rest of the gang, and then he goes back and does some serious pwning on the battefield with his new powers, but saving the final, most awesome one for his most difficult enemy. KK, ur turn to type again. OH, by the way, TYPE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN AT ANY GIVEN TIME! I love to read what you've written

(brandon) Dang, Halloween was AWESOME!!! We need to do that like, every year. Anyways, results of our abbreviated talk of the Atlantian wonder:

-Wide and tall -completely public, no military (except for security) -gardens, baths, library, business rooms (conference rooms, etc) -location (???)

Thats all we talked about!?! Wow, that was a waste. Anyways, I have a suggestion

Maybe the wonder could also be like, a school or something? And also for the smaller wonders at each city, maybe we shouldn't do that, and just have them have a capitol building in every city that has like, a library, a business section, and houses the mayor of the city. Anyways, yeah, all that, DONT FORGET TO READ MY ENTRIES ABOVE THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SPENT A LONG LONG, LONG TIME ON THE ONE ABOVE THIS ONE, SO READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now, we also need to do flashbacks of Matt, Scarlett, and Holly's lives before the war (you know, like the one with Tom, etc,). I also want to write another battle scene!! Let's hurry it up with the end of the currrent story and get to another action scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna do that right now.

(b) Oh, I have an idea! OK, how about Dr. Shang (in some point of the second book) somehow turns like half the American army on Tom and the gang, convincing them that they are bad guys, etc. The reader will know they really aren't etc, and they will get mad at Dr. Shang. Anyways the soldiers will attack Tom, and then he has to completely pwn them otherwise die. Yay. At some other point in the story Tom convinces the army that Dr. Shang is the bad guy, and then everything returns to normal (as normal as normal can be when you are on the island of Atlantis and weird, bloodthirsty dinosaurs are hunting you down)

(w) awesome ideas on everything!!! i have no objections, and i'll get started on a cross- section of the wonder. and i'm not sure if the school thing was a good idea, but we'll talk about that later. sry, gtg.

(w) all right. i just cannot stand this whole picking on Tom thing. i mean, like, scarlett, holly, and sort of matt are all picking on tom and it gets old. they're all friends, and all though holly has some attitude and scarlett is totally hot, it's not like they spend like 10 minutes making fun of tom. i mean, it's ok to make fun of him like one sentence while catching up on everything, but spending the whole time bullying tom and then just go straight to catching up on things?! plus, even if you DID get away with making scarlett or holly that "mean", the other one wouldn't just be a clone! no offense, but holly's "jokester" thing wasn't really funny at all. in fact, it was almost as bad as some fourth grade jokes. anyway, we can catch up on this one later. see ya!

(b) Okay, okay, I get it! I was trying to have it be a certain kind of teasing thing (like a sibling relationship sort of), and be completely humorous, not bullying. I guess I didn't get that point across. Anyways, we can re-write it however you want, cause I am completely out of ideas! See ya l8r g8r (lol)

(w) hahahaha. anyway, i know u were trying to have it be a sibling teasing sort of thing, but that's older siblings who do that. the gang are FRIENDS. (plus, all of that wasn't that funny. even MY sister's teasings are funny). P.S. what the mmmph is "18r g8r"?

(b) ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE missing school! But enough of that. first off, l8r g8r means later gator. I thought it would be funny (sorta) because you are a bulldogs fan. Anyways, yes I know they are friends. How's it going with your wonder drawing? Plus, what are we going to call it? It's gettin kinda stupid just saying 'the wonder' all the time, and I feel like if I mention it in public people will look at me like "wat the ____" Not that they wouldn't do that anyways if I did say the name. Oh well though. I've been trying to read Eldest alot on an 'appreciative level' but I just keep getting sucked into the story and can't focus on the good parts, I just read it. And, How's it going at Westminster? At trinity, things suck cause I've got this student-parent tour thing that is getting me stressed out, multiple tests that are really hard to study for, tours of different schools, AND, to top it off, everyone in the grade thinks that I like Caroline!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OSBNFJSDF:SDF :KLJNBVC:KJSDFLKJSDFLSKEFJ:LKSDJ:LSKDFKSJEFD:LSKEJF:KJSDHFV:LKJSDFAJ{:KSJDAFlkaJSDFJILUrf. bleh. Everyone like is keeping secrets from me :(, telling the rest of the school, things like that, and I am SO mad. But enough of me. WOW i have been writing way too much on the wiki. Your never gonna respond to all of this. oh well. Please try. Anyways I think the story is comin along great

See ya l8r

(w) all right, to make ya feel all warm and fuzzy inside, i'll respond. yeah, i'm surprised at how well the story is comin along, but if there's one thing i've learned from my "experience" is this. when you're "ahead of the game", the worst thing you can do is get lazy. then all you've worked for is lost. you have to keep going at the same pace no matter what to succeed. enough of the teary- eyed pep talks, let's get going. yeah, that REALLY sucks that everyone is tellin secrets about you. here's my advice for your life in general at trinity. the best thing to do about caroline, is since we know she likes u, just be open that u like caroline. i think, after all this time, the best thing to do is just to start openly telling people that u like her and hanging out with her, because eventually, they will get bored of this piece of gossip and everything will be better. just suck it up and ask her out or something just to get people to stop talking about it. i know u're already with elizabeth, but there's nothing we can do about that because you're the one who got yourself into this (not necessarily, but, you get the point). as for the student parent tour thing, don't worry about it and just focus on getting that westminster application done and being all nice and bright and shiny in the interview. dont worry about the tests or anything. just try and relax and take one thing at a time. (THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T STAY AT TRINITY FOR SIXTH GRADE!!!!). plus, once u get that caroline thing settled, maybe the secrets will die down or something, because i'm guessing if no one's telling u, that it's about u. when i was at my final days at trinity, i didn't worry about the last Israelites unit or anything, and i didn't worry about all the $H!# that mrs. burris was givin me, and now i am perfectly happy at westminster. i know how stressful trinity is, and i am really sorry u have to deal with it (believe me, i've experienced trinity's worst firsthand). anyway, westminster rocks. i am doing well in my classes, really like the schedule (we have PE four days a week), and my main friends are Pablo Luna, William Makepeace, and Matthew Clark. all right i gotta go. i hope u have fun at disney world!

(M) Hi from Matthew!!!!!!!!